White DE version 2

Friday, April 29, 2005

Word Association

Getting ready to go out with Brittnie, Lynn, and gang for drinks...watching my Friendster Bex on the Vee...Awesomely Bad Career Moves. Seems Jennifer Lopez is going to take her husband's last name - personally and professionally. So, I'm thinking about this in the shower...and this is the stream I got:
  • Jennifer Lopez=J. Lo
  • Jennifer Anthony=J. An
  • J. An=Jan
  • Jan=Jan Brady
  • Jan Brady=Huge afro wig/Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!
  • Huge afro=Macy Gray
  • Macy Gray=crazy out of her skull
Conclusion: Jennifer Lopez is either crazy out of her skull OR jealous of her older sister...This got me absolutely no where.

Don't Eat the Creepy Parts

So, the US gov't has redesigned the food pyramid...old news, I know. I just happened across this handy page that explains exactly how much you need to be eating. Great idea, right? Sure, but look at their explanations below each group. I'm sorry, but telling me to drink more milk because bones, teeth, and milk are all white...the logic is a little lacking there. And telling parents to choose products with additional sweeteners to get their children to eat fruit? I foolishly expected a little more from the USDA...

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Now, I Can Sleep Soundly

I really needed something to make me laugh tonight. Cue Chyna Doll from the Surreal Life in VH1...in one of the the last episodes when they have the last dinner together they all get trashed and run all over the house.

The best moment in my entire day...perhaps week...was watching Chyna Doll crawling down the ramp toward the pool with a bottle of alcohol and two lemons/limes...as she's crawling she drops the fruit and they roll to the bottom. She just looks up and says, "That's alright, you guys go on without me...I'll catch up."

Holy Fucking Cock Shit Dildo Fuck...I am still laughing.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

A-Fed vs The Dion

I don't even know the song he is singing. (I am guessing it's called I Surrender) He looks good in a suit, though. I wish he would take the advice strewn about the internets about going back to the fitted T's and tight pants...he would get my vote.

He was surprisingly good for a boy singing The Dion...i got goosebumps once - a little. Enough for now.

I Like Chicken, Too...But Still.....

Chicago is awfully proud of their mobsters...no less than 8 stories in today's ChiTri about them, including a walking tour of sorts. The feds are coming for them...and now they can't find a couple...including one in his 70's...the old one...they can't find the old one. I am not going to say any more because I like living and don't want to get disappeared.

In other news: South Carolina has made cock-fighting a felony...and tabled a bill the would do the same for domestic abuse. Now, I write this for one reason, and it's not so I can say 'cock' a lot. Ami: GET OUT!!! They don't like the wimmuns in SC! They like cocks. (tee hee)

Don't Get Him Angry...You Won't Like Him Angry

There is a politician in Alabama that has presented a bill that would remove a few books from library shelves in his state. Hmmm...this has the stink of something that is going to piss off Matty.

A list of books that would be banned:
  • Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
  • A Streetcar Named Desire
  • Long Day's Journey into Night
  • In Cold Blood
  • Breakfast at Tiffany's
  • Other Voices, Other Rooms
  • The Grass Harp
  • The Color Purple
Every book by gay authors or containing gay characters. That's a lot of good books. According to our Alabamanese friend, he is afraid that if our children are exposed to the material that ACKNOWLEDGES the homosexual "lifestyle" they might begin to believe it exists. Well, Mr. Gerald Allen, it does...I hate to burst your bubble. He is comparing this bill to efforts to steer children clear of drugs and STDs. Just as I have never gotten high, or the clap from a book...I don't think any children are going to 'become' gay by reading some great American classics. If you would like to talk to Mr. Gerald Allen of of Alabama you should give him a call. Here are his numbers:
  • State House: (334) 242-7758
  • Home: (205) 556-5310
And, just in case your First Amendment doesn't feel bruised, yet...here is a quote from Rep. Allen:

"I don't call it as censorship. I like to think of it as protecting the hearts and minds of southerners."

Thanks for Visiting!

Tomorrow will mark the 1 month anniversary of adding a Sitemeter to this page. WOW...over 700 visits in one month...I feel very special. I started this page not really knowing what it would be about, or if I even had enough to write about. I have come to find out that I have MORE than enough to write about, although I am not sure there is a 'theme' to it. I have written about things that I don't usually tell friends, let alone strangers, about. And, yes, I have had "The Moment". The moment in life when you start composing your next entry in your head...while you are experiencing it.

So, I am out of cigarettes, and that is as much as I can write right now. (By the way, Ellen announced on her show today that she quit smoking...I am sad.)

I want you to say hello to my new friend.

I might be really stupid for doing this, but I am going to attempt to keep up with !2! blogs. Click on over to Overheard In Life and take a look.

Don't forget to mail in your overhearing to OverheardInLife@Gmail.com

Monday, April 25, 2005

Meet Our New Friend

It's official...I have a new puppy. Her name is Isabella...So far, it's just Bella. She is little little little ...About 10 inches tall. She got a brand new leash and collar today (green with 'diamond' studs) and she feels so pretty. Pictures will be coming this week.

That's all for right now...I have tomorrow off to catch you all up on everything else that went on this week.

***Look for a new addition tomorrow***

Saturday, April 23, 2005

So, Here's the Thing...

It's snowing...In April...April 23rd, to be exact...snowing. I really shouldn't be surprised, though. It always snows at lease once in April. It's usually on my birthday...So I guess this is better. Not been much to talk about lately. I worked super-late last night and had to work uber-early this morning. I am dead.

Going to see Amityville tonight. It got the worst review I have ever seen of a real movie. 1 star...and it seemed reluctant. It will probably be my favorite movie of the season, lol.

I might be getting a new puppy tomorrow. I need name suggestions. Hillary is at the top of my list. I already had a dog named Chelsea, and I don't think a girl puppy would appreciate being named Bill Clinton...although I SOOO want to.

Other suggestions I have gotten include:
  • Madison...not so fond.
  • Monroe...I dunno, for a girl?
  • Isabella...I kinda like it.
  • Chloe...All I can think of is Chloe Sevigny...and I don't like her.
  • Emily...I have never known an Emily that I liked.
Just a few guidelines for suggestions:
  • MUST be a "people" name...No Sugar____, Baby____...nothing too cutesy
  • Should be able to be shortened...or lengthened, depending on behavior.
  • Can not be the name of someone I know...I know you don't know all my friend, so suggest away.
Previous pet named can not be re-used
  • Emme
  • Chelsea
  • Susie
  • Grace
  • Abigail
  • Casey
  • Leah
PLEASE HELP ME!!! Maybe you will win a prize if I pick your suggestion! *wink*wink*nudge*nudge*

Talk to everyone soon.

Friday, April 22, 2005

How Do I Love Thee?

FireFox, Let Me Count The Ways...

I love that you just popped up a warning in the lower corner to warn me of "Thunder In The Vicinity". That is the best thing ever.

I am the Luckiest Boy

Just getting ready to go to bed and what happens? THUNDERSTORM...love it.

Here's the thing...I love thunderstorms only slightly less than I love sex. (It's pretty close) You think I am kidding...Not at all...Ask Ami -- I will stand at the door and just watch it rain. It is one of the only times I feel peaceful -- Because the rest of the world is disrupted.

DON'T FORGET TO PLACE YOUR PIN ON MY GUESTMAP...look to your left...NO, your other left...there you go...

Thursday, April 21, 2005


OUHollywood BOWLPICT2204aeCLICkay18 Ball

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Why Me?

I am disgustingly embarrassed that Indy is hosting Star Wars Celebration III. I am going to go crawl under my bed now.

gay? fine by me

So, read article from the ChiTri.

T-shirt campaigns divide school
Students stand up for their beliefs

By Jennifer Skalka
Tribune staff reporter
Published April 20, 2005

A gay rights campaign Tuesday at Homewood-Flossmoor High School produced a few fights, some name-calling and dueling T-shirts from protesters.

"We took so much [abuse]," said Susie Seaman, 16, who wore a "gay? fine by me" T-shirt to school as part of a campaign for tolerance. Seaman, who is straight, said other students taunted her in the halls.

Students sold 225 shirts in the lunchroom boasting that slogan, part of a campaign started in 2003 at Duke University. Other students wore T-shirts printed by Family Harvest Church in Tinley Park that said "Crimes committed against God" on the front and "discrimination against ... my 10 Commandments, my prayers, my values, my faith, my God." The 1st Amendment, which promotes free speech and religious expression, also was printed on the shirts.

School spokesman Dave Thieman initially said Principal Von Mansfield seized several of the religious T-shirts, which were being handed out, because students did not get advance permission to distribute them. Later he said he wasn't sure which of the shirts the principal confiscated, but he said students could pick them up after school.

Several students wore the shirts to school, including Lauren Waters, 15, who said she believes all people are sinners, but she doesn't support "the actions that [gays] are doing.

"I am a Christian," she said. "And I base what I do off of the Bible."

Alex Suhrbier, 16, made and wore his own T-shirt. On the front, he wrote: "It's not OK to be gay." On the side, he drew a rainbow with a slash through it.

While he was being interviewed, a female student walked by and growled at him. "Guys were hitting on me at lunch just to [tick] me off," he said.

-- Best part of the article in bold...


UNPRECEDENTED! I just realized I have been watching Fox Sports Network for almost 2 hours. (Admittedly, it was the "Top 10 Chicago Sports Moments" that I was watching, but still...) There is a perverse sort of pride inside of me right now for being able to do that, though...almost 2 WHOLE HOURS!

Oh, and another testament to how much I suck. Last night, around 11, I stepped out for a cigarette. When I saw a cockroach pictured on the label of a bottle of bug spray, my heart literally started to race and I got all jumpy. Couldn't even enjoy my cigarette after that.

(And yes, I do sometimes go outside with a can of bug spray because I hate bugs so much.)


Vermont does it...Massachusetts does it better...Connecticut jumped on the band wagon.

CT is now offering same-sex civil unions. They are the first state to offer benefits without a court order to do so. (*I wonder if I would like living in CT*)

On the other hand Texas is trying to ban gay individuals and couples from being foster parents. Yes, that is exactly what we need -- FEWER people able to care for children waiting for loving families. (I am not even going to begin to wonder how they would try to assert a person's "gayness".) Click here for another rant from someone with more time than me.

Today at 1:00 was the father's funeral. I was eating a slice of tomato and mozzerella pizza. It was yummy. Oh, and a Coke, I had a Coke, too.

We are having a wonderous thunderstorm right now, so I am turning off the TV, computer, and radio and laying on my bed to listen to the rain. Enjoy!-

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

American Idol

I admit, I have not been watching this year. I watched last year, but was repeatedly dissappointed when every person I liked was kicked off week after week. I caught some of the show tonight and I have never been as attracted to someone SO not my type as Anthony Federov.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
(By the way, I know that is an old picture, but I like the white pants.)

I don't know what it is about him. He doesn't have dark hair, he doesn't seem bitchy, and he might actually be a nice guy. I do like imagining the thighs in those white pants...and having them wrapped around my waist. but that's a little off-topic.

I need to find somewhere to go meet new people...and I don't mean the fraternity boys I meet when I hang out with my girls. I mean gay people...namely boys, er---um, men...definitely men. I am 25 now, I should date men. Where does one meet men nowadays? I've met plenty of new men from blogging...that are at least cute in my mind...but they are states away. I will not (can not) do the long distance thing again. I've done it twice and it just doesn't work for me.

So, if anyone knows any moderately attractive, somewhat snarky, kind of bitchy, but deep down nice guys you should let me know.

(also know that I am officially and immediately attracted to any man that looks like a jerk/dick/asshole)


Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany is the new Pope. He chose the name Benedict XVI. Word is, he is even more conservative than JP2 was. But, they are calling him a 'transitional pope'...because of his age he will not be reigning for as long...kind of a Pope Buffer.

Also, today marks the 10th anniversary of the OK City bombing. sad. 168 moments of silence. I was really put off by that until I realized they meant 168 seconds...not minutes...of silence. back to your regular lives now.


Someone just called me 'snarky'. I have heard the word, but never taken the time to look it up. (Click above for definition) I always thought it was kind of a good thing...like being a bitch, or a bastard. Not in the way that I would call someone a bitch/bastard for pissing me off...but more of a "Wow, that was really bitchy...go you!" kind of way.

Like, I think Ami is a bitch...but only in the good way. And she thinks I am a bastard...in the good way. (Actually, I think she would use the word bitch, also.)

But, dictionary.com has a less favorable outlook on my snarkocity. I am depressed.

But, feeling better now that I look at UrbanDictionary.com...they have a better take on snarkishness.

*****UPDATE*****4-22-05*****I was just informed by a friend...and I quote, "I never thought of you as snarky...just a bitch" So, there you go.

Got My Name In the Paper


Ok, so it's in the Local section...and on page B2 of the local section...and they spelled it wrong...but it's there. I am a 'surviving' in one of the shortest obits I have ever seen.

Boyd Mc Millian

Boyd G. McMillian, 53, of Lafayette, died at 3:31 a.m. Sunday, April 17, 2005, at St. Elizabeth Medical Center.

Born June 5, 1951, in Lafayette, he was a life resident of the area.

He was a 1969 graduate of Southwestern High School and a veteran of the Navy.

Mr. McMillan enjoyed reading.

Surviving are a son, Matthew McMillian, and a daughter, Elizabeth McMillian, both of Lafayette; his father, Keith McMillian, and a brother, Kirk McMillian.

FYI: There is no 'a' in my last name. It's just funny how many times it is mispelled. And I just realized it is spelled 2 different ways...neither of which are correct...and there is no space in the last name, either.

Also funny to me to see so many odd names all together. My father's family is Scottish, so I can only assume that's where Keith, Boyd, and Kirk all came from.

Please, God*, when I die, let my obit say more than I graduated high school, then did something, reproduced, and enjoyed reading. I don't know what mine would say right now...nothing too impressive...maybe they will spell my name right, though.

And I had no idea he was 53! That seems awfully old. My mother would only be 47 this year. She was only 11 when he graduated high school...that's just gross.

*By the use of the term God, I am in no way implying a religious loyalty to a certain being. Just easier than getting into all that again.


It's no better than either Yahoo! or Google as a search engine...but you get to say YaGoohoo!gle...it's more fun than you might think.


Has anyone else tried to read this book? I think it's is too 'fantastical' for me. I like my fiction to be at least partly believable. This takes place in Oz, obviously, but I have to try so hard reading it because it is so out there. I think my imagination never fully developed. I can't stand movies like Harry Potter or Star Wars...I've never been able to read the Narnia books...

Ami, on the other hand, loves fantasy...she has read all the HP books, and watches the SciFi channel...even reads about it sometimes...and i tease her about it to no end.

I have seen one HP movie (Prisoner of Uzbekistan) and one SW movie (the 1st one...or the 4th one, whatever). My two favorite books are Bill Clinton: My Life and The Amateur Marriage. One (presumably) completely true, and the other so horribly realistic that it may as well be. I seem to revel in false reality -- but not my own actual reality. This post is not meant to be a deconstruction of me...just an observation. I really want to see Wicked, but I thought I should read it first...it looks like that may not happen.

I also think I might have evil powers of some sort. On Saturday night, when Lynn and I were going out I asked if we got paid for bereavement days, or were just allowed off. Twelve hours later my father died...I don't think it was my fault, right? right? lol

My sister still had a quasi-relationship with our father, even though she lives with our step-dad. She is only 20 and has lost both parents in 6 years. To say she is taking this harder than me would be to make the assumption that it had actually affected my life at all. I took Monday off work to spend some time with her and make sure she was ok. Everything went fine for the first 12 seconds until I told her I wouldn't be going to the memorial service. She is no longer speaking to me...again.

Also wondering if I should feel bad that my workplace is sending flowers, but I am not...eww, such a faux-pas.

Anyway, I am having a great adventure to Lowe's tomorrow for lawn care items...and the other assorted junk I always seem to pick up at a hardware store...seriously, they always have things there that I never knew I couldn't live without.

Maybe I'll see some people missing fingers that I can tell you about.

Monday, April 18, 2005

They're Dropping Like Flies

On the 8th my paternal grandmother died...yesterday (I think) my father died. They are really cleaning house over there at the McMillin homestead.

Before anyone gets all sappy and consoling, realize that this is my estranged father's family that I have had no contact with since January of '99.

So, I sit here, 1 1/2 weeks into 25, with no parents. Wow. It just feels wierd. My father had no active role in my life for 10 years or more, really...and I had been telling people for years that he was dead...and now he is...hmm, I'm over it.

Talk to you soon...nigh nigh for now.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Big Brother, Man

I don't like the fact that I have a couple visitors from the house.gov domain. Are you watching me? Now that you can Google SatMap my house I am worried. Do you peek in my window when I am in the altogether at night? Did you see me eat that toast that fell on the floor? (I almost caught it, that counts.) Were you just checking to see if I washed behind my ears? (Sure did!) Just curious about who you are, gov't person.

Closer...to What??

Jude Law is single-handledly assuring that I never date again. Between 'Closer' and 'Alfie' he has convinced me that the people that should be together never are, the people that need each other are separated, the people that love each other can't handle it, and the people that hate themselves are the only ones that can face it.

We learn early that honesty is the key to a good relationship. We need honesty to know where we are in the world. We need a reference point of honesty to know how to deal with everything that isn't. "Without it, we are animals." What are we with it? Maybe worse...

Fuck honesty.

It hurts...almost always. It is used to damage. It cuts the deepest...because it is meant. When we are at our lowest and needing to abase someone, we are honest. When we are hurt, we lash out to hurt...with honesty.

Why not a little pretend once in a while? Not even pretending to love, just trying...and not being completely honest about the failure of it along the way. Does every attempt have to be successful to be worthwhile? I know it hurts at the end when it's pretend and it's not as fulfilling as full-blown head-over-heels love...but it's something, isn't it?

I miss love...I think I remember it. You are reminded of them when you see the shirt they bought hanging in the store and you want to call them. You think you see their car...everywhere. You have schoolgirl moments where you buy them a stuffed animal and a balloon...and it's not even their birthday. And you don't have a moment of regret when you wake up after a night out, you have a hangover, and you roll over to see them...because they were there with you...and they're staying for breakfast.
and lunch.
and dinner.
and forever.
for now.

That's all I want...I want to try...I want to pretend...I want for now.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Well, It's Not the Donkey's Fault!

YAY, look what I got in the mail today!
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
A belated birthday present from Ami. Well, pretty on-time for her...but belated nonetheless. I have been coveting the donkey cigarette dispenser for months. I think everyone needs a donkey that can poop cigarettes...even if you don't smoke. There is an elephant available, too...but we all know how I feel about Republicans. I don't think I can have an elephant in my house. I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea, you know.

There was one other exciting moment in my day...when I got home this morning look what I found outside my window.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
OK, I didn't take that picture, I googled it...but you get the idea. There was actually just one...a single, perfectly formed, yellow tulip outside. It was gorgeous...made me appreciate nature for a second. So, I yanked it up out of the ground, brought it in the house, and plonked it in a glass of water...it's dead now. :( But, I sure enjoyed it while it lasted.

(and yes, I do smoke...just trying to guarantee I don't have to live past 50.)

OMG FederFetus LIVES!

Silly me, I went about my whole day yesterday as if the world was not coming to an end. The Spederline is pregnant...this is great news for both of them. K-Fed must be beaming...his first non-bastard child...a proud moment for everyone's favorite dead-beat dad. And Brit-Brit now has an excuse to go barefoot! (By the way, get your bookings in now...FederFetus will be available for backup dancer for the fall 2025 concert season.) Oh, and don't forget to stop by The Official FederFetus Blog. By the way, FederFetus is my affectionate term for the little tot...it prefers to be called Fetus Spears.

Oh, and to the many many people that have found their way here trying to find pictures of Mike 'The Miz' in a speedo...I don't have those pictures. Sorry.

So, vacation is over. Yesterday was my first day back to work and it was actually a good day. Selling $1,500 @ 9% commission kinda makes your day...$19.25/hour. I did miss all the $7,000 days from last weekend, but I was in Chicago getting birthday kisses at Roscoe's, so I am ok with that. I think I have finally recovered from the weekend...I feel hydrated and rested and ready to face Lafayette again. Nothing is good enough here after being in Chicago again. The people are way more rude, slow, and stupid here than I remember. I need to move. On the downside...the 2 of us spent $30 on the El in just 2 days.

Speaking of the El...watch out at the North/Clybourn stop. Lynn made the mistake of taking a handful of vitamins before we checked out of the hotel and then telling me she needed to eat soon. We had planned to eat lunch at Nookie's Tree on Halsted. We had all of our luggage with us, so I intended to take the train to the car, and then back down to Belmont...That would mean all the way to Roger's Park and back to Lakeview...not "soon" by anyone's definition. She thought she would be ok, so we trekked over to Grand...2 stops later, she turns to me with her pale/ashen face and mumbles, "We need to get off." This wouldn't have been a problem, but the Cubs game was about to start and there were 8 million people on the train...as we fight for the door I am horrified that she is gonna pass out on the train. We finally made it out of the train and she dropped her bags and ran...the opposite direction of the exit. I thought she was headed for the bench to sit...no...her actual target was the grate next to the bench that she proceeded to spew in the general direction of for the next 10 minutes...and through the next train. A few people saw, a couple people stared...I mean stared, like they wish they had a camera. A small boy had the best reaction when he turned to his mother and said, "Momma, that girl got icky on the floor." It was, most definitely, icky...all over the floor. Afterwards, though, she felt fine...and the only casualty was a $30 pair of sunglasses that neither of us really cared to retrieve and she wanted an excuse to replace anyway.

So, if you're headed north on the red line from North/Clybourn...watch your step. Who knows how long it'll be before it gets cleaned up.

Monday, April 11, 2005

I Almost Called This One 'Untitled', But I Hate When People Do That.

I just got back from Chicago. Super tired. Phone call from sister. Paternal Grandmother dead. Not going to funeral. Sister called me jerk. I hung up. I am going to bed -- Will try to care tomorrow.

Stay tuned for all the Chi-town exploits of Lynn and Matt...and the various hangers-on we gathered through the weekend.

Friday, April 08, 2005


It takes just ONE day for 8,500 people to become infected with HIV/AIDS. It takes ONE minute to make a change.

Just ONE percent of the US budget would transform the future of a generation in Africa.

Help fight Global AIDS and poverty.

Add your signature to the ONE Declaration today.



Push me
And then just touch me
Til I can get my satisfaction
Satisfaction, satisfaction, satisfaction, satisfaction

Benny Benassi said it best: My theme for this weekend in Chicago.

And some more words from Benny to fill up space:

'No Matter What You Do'

Tell me what your spirit says
show me what you pray
teach me every single thing
I'll be your guide
you are a prisoner
looking for to be..
you can change your face
but can't change your mind
no matter what you do
no matter what you do
no matter what you do
no matter what you do

Thursday, April 07, 2005

A Limerick for You

From Lynn...a limerick spontaneously composed over calzones at lunch today.

There once was a Pope named Anastasius
Who never liked to do the dishes.
He pissed off the mob,
And couldn't find a job.
So now he sleeps with the fishes.

The logic is kinda jumpy, but it rhymed so I whipped out a pen and scribbled it on my napkin so I could share it with you kids tonight.

Who Needs GAWKER?

When I can make up my own gossip using togawp. (ok, I got the link from GAWKER, but whatever.)

In other gossip news: I think Mr. and Mrs. Spears might be preggers. The world does not need another Federfetus.

Click Here

I am officially less depressed now.

25...Halfway Done

So, here is it at noon on my birthday. I don't remember the last time I felt this depressed. I don't know what I was expecting to happen, but it didn't. This weekend is all up in the air trying to find a place to stay now that Joe backed out. (I don't blame him, the boy is in law school and working full time...AND still volunteering.)

I feel like I should have something life-changing to say today...I just wanna go back to bed. My grandmother (who is 75) announced to me today that I am 1/3 of her age. When I replied that I was also 1/2 as old as I ever wanted to be she got horribly angry and we yelled at each other for about 30 minutes. I don't ever want to be 75. or even 65. When I think about myself as an older man 50 is where it stops. I can't fathom being any older than that. It's just all downhill.

I've never had a lot of patience with anything in the world...let alone thinking I have to do this for another 50 years. Waking up and going to work every day...FIFTY more years of that? I don't think so. I'm tired of it already.

It's like have a really long paper due. I get going really well, then I stop and ignore it for a while, and then I need to be done with it so I rush and it ends up all crappy. If I knew I had to live to be 75, I would rush the end and it would be all crappy. Fifty is an age that I can get to. It's like a medium length assignment -- one you can complete with only a break for a snack and to pee.

I have several invitations to dinner tonight. I don't want to go to any of them. Not because I am too depressed to enjoy a night out, but because these people are all WAY more excited than I am about my birthday now. Here's my thing: if I am excited, please be excited with me, or at least for me. When I stop being excited, you have to, as well...otherwise I will be thoroughly annoyed with you and do all I can to avoid you. (Did I ever mention I am a little manic?)

So, enough about that...too depressing. Why don't you hop over to Bex's and take a look at her sassy sassy buck...

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

There are pictures of other deer parts, too...but, I won't show those here.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

JP2: The Action Figure?

*Click title for link*

I had to write about this. A Columbian company is making the Pope into a superhero, comic book style. He will be outfitted with a special Anti-Devil cape and chastity pants. This is so off the mark of anything I thought would come from this.

I was thinking, earlier, about the new Pope. When he is named, he is going to become a total star. Would it be too far-fetched to read about his comings and goings on Page Six? (By the way, if that does happen, I am totally taking credit for it.) And, would it be too much to ask to get a hottie Pope? That certainly couldn't hurt the Catholic church. Some 20-30 something that would have teenage girls putting Pope posters (Popesters?) on their walls...ok, probably not gonna happen...but a boy can dream.

I gotta PEE!
Piss in the dumpster, start again!
[Bonus cool points for anyone who can (without cheating) name the movie that line is from]


**Now with 25% more pararagraphs**

I have learned to live my life surrounded by people that accept me for who I am in a world that does not. It's the times when I am pushed outside that circle that I again realize that 'I' am the outsider. I have been through a lot of hardship in my life. I survived an abusive father who I no longer know. My mother died when I was 18 and just beginning to realize that you need a mom sometimes. And all the while I knew I was gay. While I realized I couldn't change that, I knew it was not preferable. When I began college I sought out people that were like me, in many ways. I made many GLBT friends and I made more straight friends that accepted me. I joined groups and clubs that interested me and were pushing the same policies I believed in and we accomplished a lot.

It was in October of my sophomore year that I was first pushed outside that circle. My fraternity (progressive) was hosting a Halloween dance. I was the social chair, so I had a large part in planning it. My friends Mark, Mike, Jake, and I decided we were going as the Golden Girls. (I would be Dorothy...I had the height and could never look like a woman if I tried, so I was perfect) After the dance I went to a party, still dressed, and found no one that I knew. An acquaintance offered me a ride back to campus that I accepted. He dropped me off at Mark's apartment and drove away. Well, wouldn't you know it...Mark was passed out and not answering his door. This is a big problem because I am in 'Dorothy' clothes and all of my 'Matt' clothes (along with my cell phone) are in his apartment. I started walking toward the Union knowing that the hotel would be open and I could at least call a cab and get home. As I was walking past one of the libraries a guy rounded the corner and gave the usual campus greeting. (hey, how's it going?) As he approached, though, he yelled FAGGOT and threw me to the ground. In my slightly inebriated state I was less than prepared for this and I laid there while he kicked me in the side and then knelt to punch me.

In that moment I thought of Matthew Shepard (who had died 1 year earlier) and was amazed that this happened in my world. I thought of all of my friends that this could be happening to, I thought of all the people I don't know that this could be happening to...and I thought of all the work I had done with organizations to make sure this didn't happen. It was funny in sort of a macabre way...and it pushed me outside my circle, back into the real world where I was the outsider. Thinking all this as he is kneeling and as his fist connected with the left side of my head, I mustered all the strength I had and punched him right in the nose. There was an oddly satisfying sound and he fell to the ground. I gathered my skirt and ran like the little faggot he had accused me of being. I ran to a friend's apartment in tears, with blood on my hand and head, and he took me in for the night.

I never did press charges about it, mostly because I wouldn't have been able to identify the man if presented with the task. I did, however, work at the Student Health Center and checked with the Urgent Care desk the next day. A 21 year old male had come in with a broken nose about 30 minutes after the incident...so I took this as his punishment and my reward. He wouldn't tell the doctor what happened...just that he had been in a fight on campus. Over the next few days, I thought about retreating...giving up some of my groups and volunteering...was I making myself a target by being so out? Was being vocal making me too visible? I decided against it...in fact I redoubled my efforts and actually brought Judy Shepard to Purdue University to speak about her son and the effects she has seen from it. After she spoke she pulled me aside and we talked for about 30 minutes. She reminded me so much of my mother and she said she could see Matthew in me, and that I should never give up or hide who I was. Since then, I never have. I have been called names, yelled at, ridiculed, and worse...but never hid who I am.

I don't volunteer much anymore, but wish I had the time to. It has been 6 1/2 years since Matthew Shepard was murdered...what has changed?

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Don't forget...And don't hide.

Religion, Again...but for the last time

As I was perusing the blogs that I visit (almost) daily -- see left -- I came across an interesting post from Tony about religion. I have attended church services exactly twice in my life. The first time I was 6 and my sister and I were baptized in the Methodist church of my paternal grandparents. The second time was with a girlfriend when I was 19. (yes, I dated girls) She had attended Catholic school for almost all of her life: Elementary, Middle, High, undergrad at a predominantly Catholic, but still public, university, and was attending St Thomas Aquinas in St Louis for her Masters in Theology. She was visiting me here in Indiana and wanted to go to a service while she was here. So, I called my friends Mark and Mike and we made our way to St Thomas Aquinas near Purdue University for a morning of beratement and basic guilting. Besides the fact that I couldn't figure out when to sit/stand/kneel, I came away realizing that Catholicism was not for me. There's not much about me that they would like. So, over the years I have become fairly accustomed to identifying as Agnostic. In some Eastern religions they have a principle known as Om. Basically is comes down to believing that there is a power higher than that of your own. And that makes sense to me. I believe that there is something out there (call it god, nature, society) that has a little more control over us as a whole than we do. I have tried, in the past, to better identify with a religion, but I can't seem to find one siutable. I was raised to make up my own mind and think independantly. I never understood how people could go to church every Sunday and be preached to about what to believe without a 'why'. Most of the why's I have heard come directly from the bible. To me, the bible is this: a very good selling, much understood, and often misquoted collection of parables--stories that give guidelines about how to live peacefully with the people that share our planet. The problem comes in when people twist the bible and use only portions of it to make their case (usually for hatred or discrimination). Now, I am not going to get into all of the contradictions that are presented.

I took the same quiz he did and came up with Unitarian Universalism. While that is quite a mouthful to say, it certainly sounds inclusive enough lol. (by the way, my second result was Liberal Quaker...that makes me laugh)

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Damn, I'm Popular in Primetime

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Did something really exciting happen at 8:00 tonight on here? Did I miss it? I have been averaging about 20 hits a day...I thought that was good. What happened in an hour that led 18 people to me?

--No one left comments :(

The Pope, Alcoholics, and Witches

The Pope's passing, while unfortunate, has allowed me to revive some long lost vocabulary. Pope-tastic is a word that has never fails to bring me near tears with laughter...and then there's Pope-alicious, which I just can't take. It's hysterical to me. I might fall over. I do not mean to offend Catholics with these terms. As you can see from the quiz below I am fairly rooted in my Agnosticism, but I do not mean to discount anyone else's religious beliefs...just don't talk to me about them. ok?

In other news: My birthday is Thursday, April 7th. You wanna know what else is on Thursday, April 7th? National Alcoholics Screening Day. Coincidence? I think not. I won't be going out Thursday night (that I know of), but I will be in Chicago all weekend holding up my end of the bargain. I almost wrote all about wanting people to e-mail me their favorite bars in Chicago that I should check out, but I am pretty set in my ways and I wouldn't go anyway. So, instead, I decided I would tell you MY favorite bars in Chicago that YOU should check out.
--Big Chicks is a great bar in Uptown that is mostly gay, but all inclusive. It features great music and a postage stamp of a dance floor. The drinks are great and there is soft-core art on the walls.
--Roscoe's on Halsted is my absolute fave. Everything you could want in a bar: Cute bartenders (*wink* @ Joey), good drinks (try a pitcher of Long Island Iced Tea, perfect music (a video bar in the front and a great dance floor in the back), did I mention hot boys? There's LOTS of hot boys.
--@tmosphere is in Andersonville. A really cool neighborhood feeling bar with *WHAT?!* no cover!
--Charlie's is an institution if only for the fact that they stay open later on most nights than the rest of the bars in Boystown.
--Sidetrack is a great video bar with good drinks, no dance floor at all, though. A good place to stop for a breath between some of the others.

While you're on Halsted you can make your way to the very pretty, but otherwise unimpressive Hydrate. It's not all bad, though. On Tuesdays you can get a Ketel One Martini and a manicure for $15...and that's a deal any day of the week.

Last thing...I bought Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West because I couldn't get tickets to see the show in Chicago. So, I am gonna spend the night reading and listening to the soundtrack...Imagining what it would be like to see it on stage. (that is, unless someone out there has a couple (ok, six) of extra tickets to see it this weekend that they wouldn't mind parting with.)

It's the Satanism I'm Worried About

You scored as agnosticism. You are an agnostic. Though it is generally taken that agnostics neither believe nor disbelieve in God, it is possible to be a theist or atheist in addition to an agnostic. Agnostics don't believe it is possible to prove the existence of God (nor lack thereof).

Agnosticism is a philosophy that God's existence cannot be proven. Some say it is possible to be agnostic and follow a religion; however, one cannot be a devout believer if he or she does not truly believe.



















Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
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Wow, Extremes

You scored as Democrat. <'Imunimaginative's Deviantart Page'>

















What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In?
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Monday, April 04, 2005


I am officially on vacation from now until next Tuesday morning. I don't have any plans until this weekend, though, so you may hear from me irregularly...or I might talk so much you wanna pull your computer out of the wall...it just depends.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Link List

Nothing terribly exciting. I finally got my link list up, so you can see all the stuff I look at every day. It's fun.

This is my weekend to work through, so I haven't done anything but watch a few movies...

Have a good Sunday.

Friday, April 01, 2005

One Big Post

Nothing all that exciting since this morning...I learned that Terri Schiavo died around 9:00, and as I was driving through town this morning I noticed flags at half-mast. Now, I do not mean to insinuate that her life was worthless or without consequence, but I think having flags lowered is something that should be reserved for Presidents, Congressmen, Heads of State, or a prominent local figure...etc. I had an elderly uncle that went through much the same process about 15 years ago and it did not garner national attention, and I guarantee no one lowered flags. So, I spent the next 2 hours thinking about calling these businesses and berating them or writing a letter to the editor of the local paper...and then I realize that this whole time I think this issue has been blown out of proportion and I would just be feeding the fire I have tried to ignore for 3 weeks. (That, and I think my activist license ran out when I quit volunteering for Campus for Choice, Planned Parenthood, and the Democratic Party...basically quit volunteering all together.)

And now for something completely different:
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I do believe that I will go see House of Wax just so i can watch this scene...he's just downright yummy.

Speaking of yummy...a friend e-mailed me these pics with the hopes that I would start watching Desperate Housewives and I thought we should all enjoy them for a moment.

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I have just two things to say about him:
  • Yes, please!
  • Twice, thanks.
And just one more thing...2 great websites you should check out www.overheardinnewyork.com (because who knew so many dumbasses could love on an island that small) and postsecret.blogspot.com (because you get to learn dirty little things about anonymous people...it might be your neighbor)

Here is one of my fave secrets--
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That's all for now...I think I will have more to say now that I am fully non-sick and over my 'i-wanna-relationship' week.