White DE version 2

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Let's Catch Up

There's actually not a whole lot to catch up on since I wrote last. My family doesn't really do holidays together, so Thanksgiving was just a bonus (paid) day off for me this week. I did absolutely nothing all day. After I had gotten up and taken a shower I put on my new PJ pants and crawled into bed to watch some movies. I had planned to rent movies, but I couldn't motivate myself into the car, so I just re-watched some movies I have and listened to the commentary of some movies that I had meant to catch.

Friday morning I had to be at work at 6:45 in the morning for Black Friday. (Black Friday, by the way, is NOT the busiest day of the shopping season - not even close. It actually comes from retail speak for the time of year that companies can usually expect to start earning pure profit - being 'in the black'.) We had $10 Early Bird reward cards for people until 11:00 am, so you know that was hell. Our clearance shoes were also buy one, get one free until 11:00 am. Sounds pretty simple, right? Evidently it's the most comfusing concept to hit Greater Lafayette in years. Like almost every other department store in the country, our clearance shoes are housed on racks in the back of the department - topped with big "CLEARANCE Fashion Shoes Buy One Get One Free" signs. Why people would think that everything in the department was BOGO is beyond me. That actually brings me to a point I wanted to make to everyone shopping for the holidays. If you get to the register to check out and something is a price you didn't expect...before you berate the employee, think about this - You are probably wrong...you probably read the sign incorrectly...stores are smart enough to not advertise incorrectly 99% of the time. My suggestion is this: Either pay for it and forget about it, or go to the Customer Service department and ask a Manager to explain the situation to you. It's not that a Manager can explain the situation any better than an associate, but that associate probably doesn't have the time to take away from other customers for you...and you won't believe any words out of an associates mouth, anyway.

By the time I got home Friday night, I was in the 'Why do I still work retail' mode. Pile that on top of the fact that I had been mopey since 20 left and then pissed at myself for being sad and all I wanted to do was go out and get sloshed.

Unfortunately, Lynn and Robyn were on their way to Louisville for the night to visit other family and Holly and Brittnie had to work late. So, I stayed at home with a bottle of Stoli. While getting progressively more drunk I decided to try to clean house around here on TragicDemise. Unfortunately, I am not that good at HTML when I am sober...each sip of deliciously chilled vodka just made it worse, lol. By the time I had kinda gotten some stuff done, my computer decided to freeze/crash/die. So - no changes around here for now.

By the way, I would like you all to know that nothing goes better with a bottle of ice-cold Stoli than a box of LU cookies. I chose Le Petit Ecolier in Extra Dark Chocolate. They come in several varieties that are each better than the last. (You can find them in most supermarkets either in the gourmet cookie aisle or near the crackers.)

Tonight Lynn and I are planning to hit the campus bars with the hopes that the holiday weekend will have thinned the crowd slightly. I talked to her at 9:00, got in the shower at 9:40 and was ready by 10:15. Well, here it is at 11:00. I know it takes women longer to get ready than most men...but an extra 90 minutes? I don't get it. I think she has time management issues.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Goodbye My Something-Or-Other

First of all, I would like to know why everytime I try to go to Queerty, Jossip tries to load? It's frustrating.

So, 20 left last night for Minnesota. My feelings are mixed. When I went into this I made the rule of no involvement. !I! made the rule. I suck at following rules, evidently. I'm involved.

I had lunch with Robyn yesterday at taste of China. I had the day off and met her on campus for lunch. I do love me some Taste of China buffet. Both of us ate for only $12...hoorah. After lunch I headed home and went all trailer-trash and put up plastic over the windows. I had never done it before because (everytime I have seen it) it always looks wrinkly and crappy. (Like poorly installed window tint.) Luckily, it was really easy to do and with a quick blow (from the hair dryer) it looked perfect and is completely invisible.

While at lunch with Robyn, I mentioned that I would rather just go home and avoid 20 on his last day here. I thought it would be easier to regret not having said goodbye than actually having to do it. I finally grew up and decided not to avoid the inevitable. I headed over to 20's house and helped him pack up his kitchen. We sat on the floor to watch a movie and (obviously) things progressed. Stupid boy...he had packed everything from his nightstand already, so we were rooting through his U-Haul trying to find the right box while we were 3/4 dressed and *cough* ready. We spent the rest of the evening with each other on a mattress on the floor of his bedroom. Each time one of us would bring up the subject of him leaving, the other would roll over and initiate sex again. I still don't know how I feel about it. I don't think he is 'the one for me' or me for him. But, who ever knows? All I know is I feel a little empty today. Missing. Gone. When I was leaving his house he said he had a present for me. From his coat pocket he took a Mizpah coin. My mother and step-father shared one of these for all the years they were together until the day she died. It holds a special meaning and bond in my family. Unfortunately, it's not a bond that 20 and I share. I also don't think that he is ready to share his heart. I told him to keep it until he was complete enough to be able to give part of himself away. He understood and we leaned against the door crying together for about 10 minutes before he pulled himself away and said, "Well, I guess it's time for me to get on the road." And that was the end. We silently walked outside and I waved to him as he pulled away.

We have a new Music of the Moment from James Blunt. I am choosing 'Goodbye My Lover'. 20 and I have listened to it over and over together and certain parts of it definitely ring true.

Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

To Sodomy, It's Between God & Me

I have decided what I want for Christmas this year...and you can all help. ;)

I would love to hit 20,000 visitors by the end of the year. That will be almost exactly 9 months since I started a counter on this site and it's a nice round number to shoot for. This page has become MUCH more than I ever expected it to and I want to thank you ALL. Twenty-some of you have been kind enough to link to me from your site - thank you, especially. (If you have a link to my site, but don't see yours here, please let me know.)

(OK...you know what really pisses me off? When I go to write 'especially' and 'expecially' comes out - especially when I don't even say it that way...)

As (hopefully) all of you know, RENT comes out tomorrow nationwide. I would love to say I am going to see it on opening night, but I have seen it on stage 12 times and I am a little scared that they are going to fuck it up. (I know it's a lot of the original principals, but I am still worried, lol.) Every dirty queer in town is going to see it Wednesday, so I would rather avoid it anyway...plus, I need SOMETHING to do on Thanksgiving besides sitting around masturbating ;) (I kid...a little.)

Anyway...some new MOTM going up... La Vie Boheme from Rent. It's a great song and we're all probably going to hear Seasons of Love (525,600 minutes) too much in the near future.

No please no
Not tonight please no
Mister can't you go
Not tonight can't have a scene


Go, please go;
You - Hello, sir
I said, "No"
Important customer

What am I just a blur?

You sit all night you never buy

That's a lie that's a lie
I had a tea the other day

You couldn't pay

Oh yeah

Benjamin Coffin III - here?

Oh no

Wine and beer!

The enemy of Avenue A
We'll stay

(They sit)

Oy vey!

What brings the mogul in his own mind to the Life Cafe?

I would like to propose a toast
To Maureen's noble try
It went well

Go to hell

Was the yuppie scum stomped
Not counting the homeless
How many tickets weren't comped

Why did Muffy-


Miss the show?

There was a death in the family
If you must know

Who died?

Our Akita


Mimi I'm surprised
A bright and charming girl like you
Hangs out with these slackers
(Who don't adhere to deals)
They make fun yet I'm the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia's
A fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta
Bohemia is dead

(The BOHEMIANS immediately begin to enact a mock funeral, with
MARK delivering the "eulogy")

Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes

Dies irae dies illa
Kyrie eleison
Yitgadal v' yitkadash, etc.

Here she lies
No one knew her worth
The late great daughter of mother earth
On this night when we celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass- you bet your ass to-
(MAUREEN flashes hers)
La vie Boheme

La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme

To days of inspiration
Playing hookie, making something out of nothing
The need to express
To communicate,
To going against the grain,
Going insane
Going mad

To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension,
To starving for attention,
Hating convention, hating pretension
Not to mention of course,
Hating dear old mom and dad

To riding your bike,
Midday past the three- piece suits
To fruits to no absolutes
To Absolut- to choice
To the Village Voice
To any passing fad
To being an us-for once-, instead of a them -

La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme

(JOANNE enters)

Is the equipment in a pyramid?

It is, Maureen

The mixer doesn't have a case
Don't give me that face

(MAUREEN smacks JOANNE's ass as she exits. MR. GREY reacts)


Hey Mister- she's my sister

So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls


It tastes the same

If you close your eyes

And thirteen orders of fries
Is that it here?

Wine and beer!

To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo
To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou

Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion
Creation, vacation

Mucho masturbation

Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new

To Sontag

To Sondheim

To anything taboo

Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage

Lenny Bruce

Langston Hughes

To the stage

To Uta

To Buddha

Pablo Neruda, too

Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em

La vie Boheme

(JOANNE returns)

And wipe the speakers off before you pack

Yes, Maureen

Well - hurry back



We're close

(ANGEL jumps on top of COLLINS, who's on the table. They kiss)


Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens,
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman
German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein
Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa
Carmina Burana

To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy
Vaclav Havel - The Sex Pistols, 8BC,
To no shame - never playing the Fame Game

To marijuana

To sodomy,
It's between God and me
To S & M

(MR. GREY walks out)


La vie Boheme

In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon will commence
immediately following dinner
Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn
chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred

Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an
erection on high holy days

(ROGER picks up an electric guitar and starts to tune it)

Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the
eleventh street lot,
Will sing native american tribal chants backwards through her vocoder,
While accompanying herself on the electric cello
Which she has never studied

(At this point, JOANNE has entered and seen MAUREEN playfully kiss
MARK. JOANNE exits. BENNY pulls MIMI aside)

Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us?

There's nothing to know

Don't you think that we should discuss-

It was three months ago

He doesn't act like he's with you

We're taking it slow

Where is he now?

He's right - hmm

Uh huh

Where'd he go?

Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song
(ROGER picks up a guitar and plays Musetta's Theme)
That doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz"

Angel Dumott Schunard will now model the latest fall fashions from Paris
While accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub

And Collins will recount his exploits as an anarchist
Including the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment
To self-destruct, as it broadcast the words:

"Actual reality -- Act Up -- Fight AIDS"


(BENNY exits. Lights on MIMI and ROGER)

Excuse me did I do something wrong?
I get invited then ignored all night long

I've been trying I'm not lying
No one's perfect I've got baggage

Life's too short, babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine

I should tell, you-

I've got baggage too

I should tell you

I got baggage, too

I should tell you

Baggage - wine

And beer!

(Several beepers sound. Each turns off his or her beeper)

AZT break

(MIMI, ROGER, ANGEL, and COLLINS take pills)


Me , You?


(They hold hands and stare into each other's eyes lovingly. The rest of the
company freezes)

Monday, November 21, 2005

I Won....I'm The Winner...

Not really...just a great line from one of my favorite movies, Drop Dead Gorgeous.

Everyone's favorite BratBoy has been a busy boy updating his site lately. He added a Partners Page for people that link to, talk about, or otherwise support his site. Well, on the new, improved Partners Page there is a sort of peer rating system. Ethan has published the results of the first few days of peer ratings. Check out the winners here and look who made it. Yup, little ole TragicDemise is included in the top 10! Exciting n'est-ce pas? Mais oui... My favorite alphanumeric boy made it, too...Love it. Make sure you hop on over to the Brat Boy School and hit the admissions page so you can get all the features offered. (And, after you sign in, remember to go rate me a '5', lol!)

Nothing too exciting to report except that Matty is tired tired tired. I have 3 days off this week - Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday - so hopefully I can recuperate a little. Lynn and I have our 3-day weekend coming up after Thanksgiving so we will be heading into Chicago for some shopping and (hopefully) lunch at the Walnut Room at Field's. It's been years since I have been able to spend Thanksgiving weekend on Michigan Avenue with all the holiday decorations and the AMAZING windows. (If I think about it, I will try to take some pictures for you guys.)

Anyway...the hour is late and the Matt is tired. Sorry it's been so boring lately...I have just been working, and I can't talk about that anymore, lol...it's just too much.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Naked and Wet...

Even better than someone searching for:

American Dream-why people go to USA

and ending up here, is that this:

When searching for how do i accomplish the american dream why would you click
... You have never seen people go from fully dressed to naked and wet so fast ...

is the blurb Google shows when you find it, lol...

Saturday, November 19, 2005

High School Confidential

A new MOTM for he-knows-who...

We only have a short time left together, but I know you are reading this.

You're the forbidden - and delicious because of it...

I'll be missing you...

Carole Pope - High School Confidential

He's a cool blond scheming trick
You want him so much
You feel sick
The boy can't help it
He really can't help it now
Teenage brandos stalk him in the halls
They tease him with cat calls
He's a combination
Tom Cruise Zack O'Tool

High School
High School Confidential
High School
High School Confidential

What's that man doin with him
It's that guy
And he's screwin with him
Can he feel the sex and sweat
He makes you cream your jeans
So you won't forget

High School
High School Confidential
High School
High School Confidential

He drives a loaded jeep
With seats in the back
If you don't do him soon
You'll have a heart attack
When he flashes you a look
You wanna burn his books
Give up high school

Well well well well
High School
High School Confidential
High School
High School Confidential
High School
High School Confidential
High School
High School Confidential

Well well well well
High School
High School Confidential
High School
High School Confidential
High School
High School Confidential
High School
High School Confidential

Friday, November 18, 2005

New New New

We have a new MOTM from my new favorite artist. In the middle of last week I was up late (as usual) watching videos and saw one from James Blunt. The song was called 'You're Beautiful' and it really struck me. I absolutely loved it. Friday I went out and bought the whole album...a rarity for me.

I have been listening to the CD all week long...it's amazing. Our new MOTM is the last track on the cd and I doubt that it would be released as a single...but it ranks at the top of my list.

As always, feel free to e-mail (tragicdemise@gmail.com) or AIM (StructureExpress) me if you missed a MOTM. Since so many of you have arrived here looking for the Madonna - Sorry, I am going to leave this link here for you to catch the song.

And, as always, here are the lyrics for James Blunt - No Bravery

There are children standing here,
Arms outstretched into the sky,
Tears drying on their face.
He has been here.
Brothers lie in shallow graves.
Fathers lost without a trace.
A nation blind to their disgrace,
Since he's been here.

And I see no bravery,
No bravery in your eyes anymore.
Only sadness.

Houses burnt beyond repair.
The smell of death is in the air.
A woman weeping in despair says,
He has been here.
Tracer lighting up the sky.
It's another families' turn to die.
A child afraid to even cry out says,
He has been here.

And I see no bravery,
No bravery in your eyes anymore.
Only sadness.

There are children standing here,
Arms outstretched into the sky,
But no one asks the question why,
He has been here.
Old men kneel and accept their fate.
Wives and daughters cut and raped.
A generation drenched in hate.
Yes, he has been here.

And I see no bravery,
No bravery in your eyes anymore.
Only sadness.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Holy What??

Um...Gas is $1.89!


Not that I am complaining...just in disbelief...

Wednesday, November 16, 2005



ok, last night a few tornadoes ripped their way across Indiana...that's ok - it was warm and rainy. It's become expected to have November tornadoes.

What is NOT ok is for it to be 25 degrees today (with a 14 degree wind chill)...and SNOWING!...omg make it stop...someone turn of the evil weather machine...


Tuesday, November 15, 2005


To celebrate Madonna's new release today we have a new MOTM. NO, it's not Hung Up again...I think I have been a little overloaded on that song. (I actually did the unthinkable the other day and turned the channel when the video came on.)

Here is another great track from the album, Sorry, that is dedicated to That Matt Guy. Not that I am sorry about anything...but he shares my love of music and he's a great kid...


(As always, if you missed any previous Music of the Moments [Musics of the Moment?] you can e-mail me tragicdemise@gmail.com or AIM me StructureExpress - Have a good one...)

Sorry - Madonna - Confessions on a Dancefloor

Je suis désolé
Lo siento
Ik ben droevig
Sono spiacente

I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before

I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
I've heard it all before
And I can take care of myself
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'forgive me'
I've heard it all before
And I can't take it anymore

You're not half the man you think you are
Save your words because you've gone too far
I've listened to your lies and all your stories (Listen to your
You're not half the man you'd like to be

I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
I've heard it all before
And I can take care of myself
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'forgive me'
I've seen it all before
And I can't take it anymore

Don't explain yourself cause talk is cheap
There's more important things than hearing you speak
Mistake me cause I made it so convenient
Don't explain yourself, you'll never see

Forgive me...

(Sorry, sorry, sorry)
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before

I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
I've heard it all before
And I can take care of myself
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'forgive me'
I've seen it all before
And I can't take it anymore

I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
(Don't explain yourself cause talk is cheap)
I've heard it all before, And I can take care of myself
(There's more important things than hearing you speak)
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'forgive me'

I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before

Monday, November 14, 2005

Snap, Crackle, Shut the Fuck Up!

I know I haven't written for a few days and this is just a short thing I have to get down. I just got home from 20's house where I went after work. As opposed to what we did on Sunday, tonight we actually sat down and watched a movie together. I have been trying to spend a little more time with him lately, considering he is moving in about 2 weeks. About 2/3 of the way through the movie, we both fell asleep on each other on the sofa. When I woke up, the movie was over and my tummy was grumbly. After I untangled myself from 20 (trying not to wake him up), I went into his kitchen to see if I could find something to eat.

When I opened one of the cabinets I found Rice Krispies...yum. I haven't bought or eaten Rice Krispies in absolute years. I was super quiet getting out a bowl and spoon and getting the milk from the fridge. And then...all hell broke loose.

You never realize how loud Rice Krispies are until you are trying NOT to wake someone up, lol. Oh well, we had a lot of fun after he did wake up. ;)

Saturday, November 12, 2005

From Rigo

FUCK! This is hot! And now I sleep...

Thursday, November 10, 2005

You Found Me

When searching for how do i accomplish the american dream why would you click on The Tragic Demise of an American Dream? Looking for dont's? Well, whoever you are, I hope you found something you like.

Other interesting searches I have gotten recently:

+"Jude Law" NEAR +grower
"don't be that guy" and "piven'
"Gays in Space"
how to start a mower
blog naked "lafayette, indiana"

And let us not forget ringside maybe you were right and it's many variations...still my highest referral count...

*****I forgot this one...I saw "ricki lake" "making out" in the "bathroom"...that's probably the best one ever...

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Coward's Meme

Inspired by Chip-Chat Matt.

1)List ten things you want to say to people, but know you never will.
2)Don't say who they are.
3)Disable comments.
4)Never discuss it again.

1) You are the one. You always have been and (probably) always will be. I don't say it because I love you too much to make you make a choice.

2) You are not the one. You never have been and you (probably) never will be. I don't say it because I don't love you enough and I don't want you to make a choice.

3) I loved you. I hate you. I was mean to you. You ruined me.

4) I'm sorry I wasn't there. Sorrier than you will ever know.

5) I want to call you, but I have nothing important to say.

6) I'm glad you're dead. I wished it upon you for years and it makes me happy every time I remember.

7) You think you know my secrets. You don't know anything that thousands of strangers haven't read on this blog. No one knows my secrets.

8) I only slept with you because you told me you were your twin brother.

9) I am a stronger and better person than you will ever be. It's sad because you could be a gorgeous person if you weren't so hateful.

10) Your vanity and shallowness disgust me. It's sad because everyone thinks you are a gorgeous person.
That was therapeutic...and exhausting, lol...

I am not going to disable comments...I am a comment whore - we all know this.

One other thing: Anything Anderson Cooper compares to ejaculation is fine by me. Count me as a proud premature grayer...

'Desperate Housewives' Actor Fired

Published November 9, 2005 - Chicago Tribune, Cheryl Bowles

Page Kennedy, who plays a fugitive from the law on "Desperate Housewives," was fired from the hit ABC show for improper conduct, a series spokeswoman said Tuesday.

Kennedy, who joined the show this season, was let go Friday after a "thorough investigation by the studio" of the allegations against him, publicist Janet Daily said.

Details of the allegations were unavailable, Daily said. A call to Kennedy's agent for comment wasn't immediately returned Tuesday.

The alleged misconduct didn't involve another cast member, a source close to the production said, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Kennedy played Caleb, a character shrouded in mystery and seen only briefly as he was held captive in the basement of Wisteria Lane newcomer Betty Applewhite (Alfre Woodard). In the Oct. 23 episode, it was revealed that Caleb may be responsible for a murder in Chicago.

The role of Caleb is being recast, Daily said. Kennedy's final appearance on the ABC series is Sunday.

The Detroit native made his film debut as a bad guy in 2003's "S.W.A.T." He appears in the upcoming movie "In the Mix," opening Nov. 23.

Irony? Maybe. Hilarity? Yes.

So, I am sitting here this morning (should still be asleep) watching Ellen. Martha Stewart is on and she's always fun. Well, during the commercial, I started flipping around channels and passed one of the cable access stations. This particular station tends to play oldies while showing community announcements. They were in the process of showing certain support group meeting times when I flipped by. Breast cancer survivors, single mothers, AA, all that stuff...

All the sudden, though, there was an change of song - and in the mood of the announcements. The next four groups they announced were for Depression, OCD, Schizophrenia, and Suicide survivors...

And the song - Goodbye Cruel World by James Darren.

Love it.

And They're Young and Alive

New MOTM. This one is inspired by our good friend Alex who was disappointed in me for not knowing about The Smiths. Well, I came home and Googled them and was impressed. Evidently they were very influental in the music scene of the mid-80's. (I wouldn't know...I was barely born, heehee) I also ended up listening to a LOT of their music. Some of it I really enjoyed, some I didn't. That's to be expected, though, and overall I like it.

This song, especially, reminded me of a time in my own life. A time when I was just peeking out of the closet and spending time with gay people - one gay person in particular. He was the president of my fraternity and we were very close. We often went for drives through the country around campus and there were so many times that a perfect moment passed us by. So, here you go: There is a Light that Never Goes Out - The Smiths. (As always, if you missed any old MOTM's and would like to hear them, just e-mail me (tragicdemise@gmail.com) or AIM me (StructureExpress).

Take me out tonight
Where there's music and there's people
And they're young and alive
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one

Take me out tonight
Because I want to see people and I
Want to see life
Driving in your car
Oh, please don't drop me home
Because it's not my home, it's their
Home, and I'm welcome no more

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

Take me out tonight
Take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
And in the darkened underpass
I thought Oh God, my chance has come at last
(But then a strange fear gripped me and I
Just couldn't ask)

Take me out tonight
Oh, take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one, da ...
Oh, I haven't got one

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

Oh, There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Random AIMing

So, I had just gotten home from work when I got a message on AIM from a screen name I didn’t recognize. That, in itself, is not unusual…I have my AIM info posted right here on this page. This was a little different, though…I’ll let you read for yourself. {My comments posted in pretty brackets like these.}

RandomBitch (6:53:26 PM): friday by da luv of ur life.... DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN!! ur crush will ask u out. 2morow will b da best day of ur life. Howeva, if u dont send this 2 @ least 10 ppl by @ least 12:00 2nite u will have bad luck in ur luv life 4 da rest of ur life. Just copy, paste you will get kissed on friday by da luv of ur life
StructureExpress (6:53:53 PM): do I know you?
RandomBitch (6:55:38 PM): of course
StructureExpress (6:56:06 PM): really?
StructureExpress (6:56:48 PM): GIRL NAME? {I had just checked her AIM profile…}
RandomBitch (6:58:56 PM): huh
StructureExpress (6:59:09 PM): I don't think I know you
RandomBitch (7:00:46 PM): you do too
StructureExpress (7:01:01 PM): ok...and you are...?
RandomBitch (7:05:07 PM): remember your best friend from kindergarten??
StructureExpress (7:05:16 PM): yes
RandomBitch (7:05:35 PM): yeah! thats my cousing
StructureExpress (7:05:43 PM): doubtful
RandomBitch (7:05:58 PM): no like a diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiistant cousing
StructureExpress (7:06:05 PM): then how do you know me?
RandomBitch (7:06:17 PM): cuz they told me about u
StructureExpress (7:06:45 PM): oh, that is sad...my best friend in kindergarten's name was Jack and he died when we were eight.
RandomBitch (7:08:00 PM): last time i talked to him was in like first gread
i hadnt herd abut him sense
StructureExpress (7:08:38 PM): just tell me who the hell you are...
StructureExpress (7:08:53 PM): name? where are you from? how did you get my AIM name?
RandomBitch (7:10:58 PM): a blog
RandomBitch (7:11:06 PM): im from PLACE {Locations changed.}
StructureExpress (7:11:16 PM): I don't know where that is
RandomBitch (7:13:12 PM): ik
but im still your imaginary friend from when you were 2
RandomBitch (7:13:15 PM): =-O
StructureExpress (7:13:24 PM): oh, ok
RandomBitch (7:14:00 PM): Whohelia!
RandomBitch (7:16:36 PM): jeez u dont know what whohelia means do u
StructureExpress (7:16:44 PM): no idea
RandomBitch (7:17:41 PM): It means whoh baby someone just let off a friggin nasty fartt
StructureExpress (7:17:59 PM): and in what part of the world does it mean that?
RandomBitch (7:18:17 PM): in PLACE
RandomBitch (7:18:20 PM): !!
RandomBitch (7:18:26 PM): imean duh!
RandomBitch (7:18:33 PM): !!
StructureExpress (7:18:34 PM): and I already asked where PLACE was...and you didn't tell me
RandomBitch (7:19:00 PM): ya i did i said its in New Burnswick
RandomBitch (7:19:13 PM): duh evryone knos that!!
RandomBitch (7:19:16 PM): !!!!
RandomBitch (7:19:18 PM): ritard!!
StructureExpress (7:20:15 PM): ok, you didn't say that...scroll up and take a look yourself. Also, I have never been to Canada, so I wouldn't know where whatever little town you live in is...
RandomBitch (7:21:01 PM): what didnt i say?
StructureExpress (7:21:37 PM): you didn't say that PLACE is in new brunswick...that's why I asked you again...
RandomBitch (7:22:41 PM): i did 2 ritard!@
StructureExpress (7:23:01 PM): ok, you didn't. i just want to know why you messaged me
RandomBitch (7:23:19 PM): cuze i needed 10 plp
StructureExpress (7:23:37 PM): then get 10 friends for your little AIM spam crap
RandomBitch (7:24:18 PM): i had 10 friends
RandomBitch (7:24:29 PM): i just didnt want to spam mmy friends:-)
StructureExpress (7:24:38 PM): OK, then do two things for me...
RandomBitch (7:24:48 PM): what
StructureExpress (7:24:48 PM): learn to spell and leave me the fuck alone
RandomBitch (7:24:54 PM): u swer
RandomBitch (7:25:00 PM): o no u didnt!
RandomBitch (7:25:02 PM): =-O
StructureExpress (7:25:04 PM): ?
RandomBitch (7:25:19 PM): O NO U DIDNT!!
StructureExpress (7:25:23 PM): um, sure did - Fuckity Fuck Fuck
RandomBitch (7:25:41 PM): O NO U DIDNT!!!!
StructureExpress (7:25:52 PM): what is your problem?
RandomBitch (7:26:05 PM): I GOT NO PROBLIM PUNK!!
RandomBitch (7:26:15 PM): =-O
StructureExpress (7:26:19 PM): learn to spell like a real person, please, before you want to talk to me again
RandomBitch (7:26:34 PM): I SPELL LIKE A REAL PERSON PUNK!!
RandomBitch (7:26:45 PM): I SPELL GOODD PUNK!
StructureExpress (7:27:26 PM): no... O is not a word. Oh is a word. U is not a word. You is a word
RandomBitch (7:27:30 PM): TAKE THAT TO THE HIZZOP PUNK
StructureExpress (7:27:36 PM): the hizzop?
RandomBitch (7:27:38 PM): O IS A WORD
RandomBitch (7:27:45 PM): HIZZOP IS A WORD
StructureExpress (7:27:52 PM): no, those are letters...words are made up of letters...
RandomBitch (7:28:09 PM): R U INSULTEN ME PUNK
RandomBitch (7:28:14 PM): ?!?!?!?
StructureExpress (7:28:18 PM): there are very few words consisting of a single letter. A is one that comes to mind, but not U or O
StructureExpress (7:28:25 PM): i guess I am insulting you, punk
RandomBitch (7:28:34 PM): UR A PUNKAROONI
StructureExpress (7:29:02 PM): so, you play the clarinet? {The AIM profile links to a Xanga page…}
RandomBitch (7:29:10 PM): MKKKKME
RandomBitch (7:29:19 PM): THATS MY FREND PUNK
StructureExpress (7:29:35 PM): then why are you using her screen name?
RandomBitch (7:30:18 PM): im not we share PUNK
StructureExpress (7:30:33 PM): hmmm, doubtful
StructureExpress (7:30:44 PM): please stop calling me a punk. you don't know me
RandomBitch (7:31:29 PM): shunk munkey
StructureExpress (7:32:19 PM): so, you aren't GIRL NAME from PLACE, NY? you don't play the clarinet? ski? who are you then? {Names have been changed to protect the ‘innocent’.}
RandomBitch (7:32:49 PM): im OTHER GIRL NAME from PLACE new brunswick
RandomBitch (7:32:53 PM): duh
StructureExpress (7:33:02 PM): you should get your own screen name.
RandomBitch (7:33:09 PM): why
RandomBitch (7:33:15 PM): dont tell me what to do!
StructureExpress (7:33:45 PM): because, i am in the process of reporting this screen name to an AOL moderator and it's your friend that will get in trouble. Not a good thing to do to a friend {I don’t even know how to report someone to an AOL moderator.}
RandomBitch (7:34:06 PM): no shell killme
RandomBitch (7:34:12 PM): ill stop shell kill me
RandomBitch (7:34:14 PM): !!
StructureExpress (7:34:29 PM): sorry, already talking to him now {Talking to no one.}
RandomBitch (7:34:38 PM): no ples shell kill me
RandomBitch (7:34:40 PM): !
RandomBitch (7:35:29 PM): an her momll killher
RandomBitch (7:35:38 PM): so then my momll kill me
RandomBitch signed off at 7:35:47 PM.
RandomBitch signed on at 7:37:22 PM. {Hmmm…back so soon…}
RandomBitch (7:37:43 PM): Do I know you?
RandomBitch (7:38:00 PM): Hello?
StructureExpress (7:38:09 PM): hello?
RandomBitch (7:38:21 PM): Who are you?
StructureExpress (7:38:31 PM): my name is matt...who is this?
RandomBitch (7:38:40 PM): This is GIRL NAME......
RandomBitch (7:38:45 PM): Do I know you??
RandomBitch (7:38:55 PM): Or are you one of OTHER GIRL NAME's friends?
StructureExpress (7:38:55 PM): no, do you have a friend named OTHER GIRL NAME?
StructureExpress (7:39:09 PM): no, OTHER GIRL NAME is not my friend. she is annoying me on AIM
RandomBitch (7:39:20 PM): Oh God...
RandomBitch (7:39:24 PM): She's so retarded!!!
StructureExpress (7:39:28 PM): I had to report this screen name to AOL. It's being investigated {Yeah, still not talking to anyone.}
RandomBitch (7:39:50 PM): Oh god!!! She's at my house! She was on this computer.
RandomBitch (7:40:04 PM): My dad's going to kill me!!
StructureExpress (7:40:08 PM): You should pay more attention to who you let use your screen names
RandomBitch (7:40:29 PM): Oh god, she's my friend, I trusted her.... I didn't think she'd do this!
RandomBitch (7:40:35 PM): Can you do anything?
StructureExpress (7:40:50 PM): I already reported it. I can't do anything now. {Still pretty sure this is the first girl.}
RandomBitch (7:41:18 PM): Can you send them some kind of explanation or anything? Anything can help!! What was she doing???
RandomBitch (7:41:32 PM): Oh my god, I am going to KILL HER!!!
RandomBitch (7:41:43 PM): Seriously, what did she do?
RandomBitch (7:42:14 PM): Please tell me!!!
StructureExpress (7:42:17 PM): just randomly messaged me. was entirely rude and impolite
RandomBitch (7:42:26 PM): Oh...
RandomBitch (7:42:43 PM): I'm really sorry she did that, but why didn't you just block this screen name?
RandomBitch (7:43:09 PM): Or did she say something really bad?
StructureExpress (7:43:48 PM): she said several things. I am not going to go into it. I would suggest you change your password and not let your 'friend' use your computer anymore.
StructureExpress (7:43:59 PM): (i would also hope AOL doesn't ban your account.)
StructureExpress (7:44:07 PM): have a good evening
RandomBitch (7:44:09 PM): Can they do anything else to me?
RandomBitch (7:44:38 PM): I really don't know anything about this, I'm just wondering if you can give me any information.
StructureExpress (7:45:02 PM): i am sure you will receive any information necessary from AOL when their investigation is complete
StructureExpress (7:45:08 PM): again, have a good evening
RandomBitch (7:45:18 PM): Where should I get the information?
RandomBitch (7:45:43 PM): I mean, like where will they send it? And I'm really sorry to be bothering you.
StructureExpress (7:46:27 PM): I would assume you would be e-mailed through the address you used to register this screen name or in your AOL mail directly
StructureExpress (7:46:32 PM): good night
RandomBitch (7:47:07 PM): Thank you for your time. I'm very sorry for all the trouble OTHER GIRL NAME's caused. Have a good night, that is if she hasn't completely ruined it.

So, there’s that…

Monday, November 07, 2005

If You Can't PR Your Brother -

you aren't really a PR agent anymore, LeeAnne DeVette. Evidently, Mr. Crazy 2005 has decided that since he has gone from one of the most loved celebrities to one of the least, he needs a new PR guy.

How about this, Tom? How about a little LESS CRAZY, you stupid fuck.

*****In other crazy: Jack White (of White Stripes fame?) has decided to change his name during their tour of the United Kingdom. He wants fans to call him Three Quid. You know...If I were going to change my name (which I plan to someday) I would choose something a little more exciting (or at least a higher dollar amount) than Three Quid.

Also crazy...A Romanian man has seen the face of Jesus on the side of his wardrobe. Oh, and not just Jesus. He's hanging out with saints Peter and Paul, too. Now, here's my thing - I have seen PLENTY of wood panelling in my time. Panelled walls, veneered furniture...it's pretty easy to 'see' things in butterflied veneers especially. One of my first apartments had veneered closet doors and if you were in just the right mood (or stage of inebriation) you could see an old man, a squirrel, and a naked woman in my closet doors. I never called the authorities about it... {If you have ever seen Drop Dead Gorgeous, did you see the Penis on the Door? Look for it!}

In a Heaven of People, There's Only Some Want to Fly...

New MOTM. I have been meaning to put this up for a couple weeks now, but it involved shuffling some files and I just never got to it. Alanis has revisited one of Seal's greatest hits with 'Crazy'. I am posting the James Michael Mix here, but would suggest you listen to the Eddie Baez mix if you get the chance. I would post it here, but the file size is larger than Insight lets me allocate per user. :(

Anyway, it's good...and the video is amazing...I love a good twist. (What I do not like, however, is her being with my boyfriend Ryan Reynolds.)

Damn, This is Some Expensive Real Estate...

My blog is worth $25,242.58.
How much is your blog worth?

And the Poets are Just Kids Who Didn't Make It...

Hey kids...How's everyone been? Good - that's good to hear. I would love to say that real life has just been TOO very exciting for me to have time to blog. Unfortunately, it's just that every time I have sat down here at my computer, there are no words worth putting down. Unfortunately, now I have all week to catch you guys up on.

Well, the last thing I wrote was last Monday, getting ready to go out for a Halloween night at the Knickerbocker. It's been a while and I'm a little fuzzy on what happened that night, but Lynn and I definitely won the costume contest. We went as JFK and Jackie - justafter the assassination. (I know, we're going to hell.) The prize was $50 (which we split) and I think I remember some free drinks thrown in there. After the bar closed, we headed over to Jeff's and everyone sure did end up in the hot tub (naked). Well, I say everyone, but Lynn disappeared upstairs with FH who was too drunk to take care of business. Around 6:00 Tuesday morning I caught a ride home with this girl who had been dressed as a sumo wrestler...and I still forget her name...crap. I was off work on Tuesday, so when I got home I talked to 20 and spent the entire day at his apartment napping between bouts of amazing sex.

Nothing exciting Wednesday...that I can remember. Thursday night we went to the bar for a couple drinks after work and we were good and only had 2 drinks apeice and then went home. I bought the new Fall Out Boy cd on Friday and that's exciting. Everyone I know is super-surprised that I would like FOB - evidently they are 'too punk for me'...'too hard for me'...'not top-40 enough for me'. Well, I happen to have a very wide range of musical tastes and I certainly wouldn't call FOB 'punk'. Regardless...

Friday night we had promised Britt that we would go out to some campus bars with her. We had ourselves almost convinced that they weren't as bad as we remembered. We were wrong. We started at Brother's about midnight. The downstairs bar was too busy to get to so we went upstairs. You know what sucks? When you spend an hour or so getting all pretty (perfect hair, clothes just right, new cute jeans, everything is making you feel good) and then you go to a bar that is too crowded for anyone to see what you are wearing and so hot inside that you immediately start to sweat through your clothes. That sucks. We staked out a spot right by the door to catch Britt when she walked in and let her know we wanted to leave. When she finally got there it had actually gotten BUSIER and she agreed that we should leave. We headed over to Stacks (Wabash Yacht Club) and it was just as busy...and smaller. Luckily, some of Britt's friends had secured a booth near the back. All the seats were full, but there was a little floorspace for us. That was fine until the bar got BUSIER. I ended up standing with one foot on a step, the other in mid-air and holding onto a pole for about 20 minutes. We said our goodbyes and headed to Where Else? because we thought we might, at least, get to squeeze in a couple dances. Well, we could have if the music hadn't sucked my ass that night. We didn't even finish our drinks because we realized that it was about 2:30 and if we really tried to book we could make it to the Knickerbocker for a drink before the end of the night.

We made it to the Knickerbocker and got our drinks...hung out and chatted for a little while and then headed home. We hadn't gone 10 blocks when we decided we were hungry, but Lynn refused to go to Tri Chi, so we pulled a uey and headed back across the river to Steak n Shake. yum. Long story-short...Lynn had gotten so hammered on the 2 drinks she had that night that we ended up sleeping late on Saturday and got nothing accomplished. I ended up waking up in the morning with her cat's (named Harold Trousers) ass in my face. Normally, it wouldn't have been that much of an issue, but I was already feeling a little queasy and it just built me up into a big ball of throw-up. typical.

Saturday night we headed back out to the Knickerbocker and we were both in kind of a foul mood for some reason. We said a quick hello to some friends and then ducked into a 2-booth near the wall. For some reason, the nights that you question whether you should just go home are always the ones that turn out the craziest. Alex showed up and got us cheered up - he always can. Our little pity party for 2 turned into about a dozen people rotating between a couple 4-tops and booths. I got to talk to Joe, who is getting ready to open his new restaurant (Lafayette City Grill) Thanksgiving weekend. We have been invited to a champagne reception sometime that week...but I forget when. Josh (who maintained that we was NOT drunk) was running around in his underwear and shirt for awhile...no socks, no shoes, NO PANTS! Yeah, Josh...you're sober. I also got to meet (and I am pretty sure freak out) Josette from GirlInBlack4.5. I was really excited because I recognized her, but she was a little less excited than me, lol...

At the end of the night, Lynn and I were going to head over to Jeff's for a little afterparty and were trying to talk Alex into coming with us. Lynn actually gave him $20 to make him come out...for 3 hours, lol. I was the most sober of all of us in the car, so I drove. (I had 4 drinks in about 4 1/2 hours.) As I was pulling out of the parking spot.....scrape.....WTF!? I hit a taxi. I had just looked behind me into the street and it wasn't there...the guy said later that he saw me pulling out just as he pulled up. Anyway, I jumped out of the car and started talking to the guy. Of course, it being a company car, we had to call the police. There was a little damage to Lynn's bumper, and hardly a scratch on the taxi. The police officer finally showed up and (holy crap he was hot) started asking questions about how it happened. Luckily, he actually believed it was an honest accident. At one point he turned to me and said I looked nervous and I told him...completely honestly...that I was. I have driven for 9 years and never even hit a curb, let alone another car. I think that got him on my side...he actually put his hand on my shoulder and said, "You know...sometimes things like this happen. You were trying to give some people a ride and he slid in right behind you. It's really no one's fault." AWESOME! Luckily, when the taxi-owner-guy got there, he didn't want to file an insurance claim so we were free to go. Alex had stayed with us throughout the police ordeal, but FH took off. (Something about being on probation or not wanting to get Public Intox or something.) We were just glad to be rid of him, lol. We got back in the car and headed over to Jeff's. After we got there and mixed some drinks, Jeff showed up and got the hot tub going. You have never seen people go from fully dressed to naked and wet so fast in your life, lol. I'll gloss over the details - let's just leave it as there was a lot of nakedness, a lot of touching, a lot of sliding around, a lot of excitement, a lot of everything...but no sex. All of this was going on while there was a great thunderstorm brewing overhead which just made it that much better. When we finally got out of the hot tub and re-dressed, the sun was up and I drove Alex home and then crashed at Lynn's house. We got to sleep about 8:00 on Sunday morning and slept for most of the day. We woke up just in time to get ready and head over to Britt's to watch West Wing, Des Wives, and Grey's Anatomy.

Unfortunately, that thunderstorm brewing overhead Saturday night was becoming one of the strongest and deadliest tornadoes of the year in southwestern Indiana. It reached the strength of an F3 which indicated winds of up to 200 mph. Tornado season is usually March through June - but outside of that window, November is the deadliest month for tornadoes around here. So far 22 people have been found dead. The storm had a width of over 500 yards and was on the ground for nearly 20 miles...crazy.

Anyway, today is my last day off for my 3-day weekend...back to work tomorrow. I think we might go see a movie this afternoon, but no set plans.

There's your update on everything from the week...hopefully I will get back in a more regular posting rhythm soon.