Random AIMing

So, I had just gotten home from work when I got a message on AIM from a screen name I didn’t recognize. That, in itself, is not unusual…I have my AIM info posted right here on this page. This was a little different, though…I’ll let you read for yourself. {My comments posted in pretty brackets like these.}

RandomBitch (6:53:26 PM): friday by da luv of ur life.... DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN!! ur crush will ask u out. 2morow will b da best day of ur life. Howeva, if u dont send this 2 @ least 10 ppl by @ least 12:00 2nite u will have bad luck in ur luv life 4 da rest of ur life. Just copy, paste you will get kissed on friday by da luv of ur life
StructureExpress (6:53:53 PM): do I know you?
RandomBitch (6:55:38 PM): of course
StructureExpress (6:56:06 PM): really?
StructureExpress (6:56:48 PM): GIRL NAME? {I had just checked her AIM profile…}
RandomBitch (6:58:56 PM): huh
StructureExpress (6:59:09 PM): I don't think I know you
RandomBitch (7:00:46 PM): you do too
StructureExpress (7:01:01 PM): ok...and you are...?
RandomBitch (7:05:07 PM): remember your best friend from kindergarten??
StructureExpress (7:05:16 PM): yes
RandomBitch (7:05:35 PM): yeah! thats my cousing
StructureExpress (7:05:43 PM): doubtful
RandomBitch (7:05:58 PM): no like a diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiistant cousing
StructureExpress (7:06:05 PM): then how do you know me?
RandomBitch (7:06:17 PM): cuz they told me about u
StructureExpress (7:06:45 PM): oh, that is sad...my best friend in kindergarten's name was Jack and he died when we were eight.
RandomBitch (7:08:00 PM): last time i talked to him was in like first gread
i hadnt herd abut him sense
StructureExpress (7:08:38 PM): just tell me who the hell you are...
StructureExpress (7:08:53 PM): name? where are you from? how did you get my AIM name?
RandomBitch (7:10:58 PM): a blog
RandomBitch (7:11:06 PM): im from PLACE {Locations changed.}
StructureExpress (7:11:16 PM): I don't know where that is
RandomBitch (7:13:12 PM): ik
but im still your imaginary friend from when you were 2
RandomBitch (7:13:15 PM): =-O
StructureExpress (7:13:24 PM): oh, ok
RandomBitch (7:14:00 PM): Whohelia!
RandomBitch (7:16:36 PM): jeez u dont know what whohelia means do u
StructureExpress (7:16:44 PM): no idea
RandomBitch (7:17:41 PM): It means whoh baby someone just let off a friggin nasty fartt
StructureExpress (7:17:59 PM): and in what part of the world does it mean that?
RandomBitch (7:18:17 PM): in PLACE
RandomBitch (7:18:20 PM): !!
RandomBitch (7:18:26 PM): imean duh!
RandomBitch (7:18:33 PM): !!
StructureExpress (7:18:34 PM): and I already asked where PLACE was...and you didn't tell me
RandomBitch (7:19:00 PM): ya i did i said its in New Burnswick
RandomBitch (7:19:13 PM): duh evryone knos that!!
RandomBitch (7:19:16 PM): !!!!
RandomBitch (7:19:18 PM): ritard!!
StructureExpress (7:20:15 PM): ok, you didn't say that...scroll up and take a look yourself. Also, I have never been to Canada, so I wouldn't know where whatever little town you live in is...
RandomBitch (7:21:01 PM): what didnt i say?
StructureExpress (7:21:37 PM): you didn't say that PLACE is in new brunswick...that's why I asked you again...
RandomBitch (7:22:41 PM): i did 2 ritard!@
StructureExpress (7:23:01 PM): ok, you didn't. i just want to know why you messaged me
RandomBitch (7:23:19 PM): cuze i needed 10 plp
StructureExpress (7:23:37 PM): then get 10 friends for your little AIM spam crap
RandomBitch (7:24:18 PM): i had 10 friends
RandomBitch (7:24:29 PM): i just didnt want to spam mmy friends:-)
StructureExpress (7:24:38 PM): OK, then do two things for me...
RandomBitch (7:24:48 PM): what
StructureExpress (7:24:48 PM): learn to spell and leave me the fuck alone
RandomBitch (7:24:54 PM): u swer
RandomBitch (7:25:00 PM): o no u didnt!
RandomBitch (7:25:02 PM): =-O
StructureExpress (7:25:04 PM): ?
RandomBitch (7:25:19 PM): O NO U DIDNT!!
StructureExpress (7:25:23 PM): um, sure did - Fuckity Fuck Fuck
RandomBitch (7:25:41 PM): O NO U DIDNT!!!!
StructureExpress (7:25:52 PM): what is your problem?
RandomBitch (7:26:05 PM): I GOT NO PROBLIM PUNK!!
RandomBitch (7:26:15 PM): =-O
StructureExpress (7:26:19 PM): learn to spell like a real person, please, before you want to talk to me again
RandomBitch (7:26:34 PM): I SPELL LIKE A REAL PERSON PUNK!!
RandomBitch (7:26:45 PM): I SPELL GOODD PUNK!
StructureExpress (7:27:26 PM): no... O is not a word. Oh is a word. U is not a word. You is a word
RandomBitch (7:27:30 PM): TAKE THAT TO THE HIZZOP PUNK
StructureExpress (7:27:36 PM): the hizzop?
RandomBitch (7:27:38 PM): O IS A WORD
U IS A WORD
RandomBitch (7:27:45 PM): HIZZOP IS A WORD
StructureExpress (7:27:52 PM): no, those are letters...words are made up of letters...
RandomBitch (7:28:09 PM): R U INSULTEN ME PUNK
RandomBitch (7:28:14 PM): ?!?!?!?
StructureExpress (7:28:18 PM): there are very few words consisting of a single letter. A is one that comes to mind, but not U or O
StructureExpress (7:28:25 PM): i guess I am insulting you, punk
RandomBitch (7:28:34 PM): UR A PUNKAROONI
StructureExpress (7:29:02 PM): so, you play the clarinet? {The AIM profile links to a Xanga page…}
RandomBitch (7:29:10 PM): MKKKKME
RandomBitch (7:29:19 PM): THATS MY FREND PUNK
StructureExpress (7:29:35 PM): then why are you using her screen name?
RandomBitch (7:30:18 PM): im not we share PUNK
StructureExpress (7:30:33 PM): hmmm, doubtful
StructureExpress (7:30:44 PM): please stop calling me a punk. you don't know me
RandomBitch (7:31:29 PM): shunk munkey
StructureExpress (7:32:19 PM): so, you aren't GIRL NAME from PLACE, NY? you don't play the clarinet? ski? who are you then? {Names have been changed to protect the ‘innocent’.}
RandomBitch (7:32:49 PM): im OTHER GIRL NAME from PLACE new brunswick
RandomBitch (7:32:53 PM): duh
StructureExpress (7:33:02 PM): you should get your own screen name.
RandomBitch (7:33:09 PM): why
RandomBitch (7:33:15 PM): dont tell me what to do!
StructureExpress (7:33:45 PM): because, i am in the process of reporting this screen name to an AOL moderator and it's your friend that will get in trouble. Not a good thing to do to a friend {I don’t even know how to report someone to an AOL moderator.}
RandomBitch (7:34:06 PM): no shell killme
RandomBitch (7:34:12 PM): ill stop shell kill me
RandomBitch (7:34:14 PM): !!
StructureExpress (7:34:29 PM): sorry, already talking to him now {Talking to no one.}
RandomBitch (7:34:38 PM): no ples shell kill me
RandomBitch (7:34:40 PM): !
RandomBitch (7:35:29 PM): an her momll killher
RandomBitch (7:35:38 PM): so then my momll kill me
RandomBitch signed off at 7:35:47 PM.
RandomBitch signed on at 7:37:22 PM. {Hmmm…back so soon…}
RandomBitch (7:37:43 PM): Do I know you?
RandomBitch (7:38:00 PM): Hello?
StructureExpress (7:38:09 PM): hello?
RandomBitch (7:38:21 PM): Who are you?
StructureExpress (7:38:31 PM): my name is matt...who is this?
RandomBitch (7:38:40 PM): This is GIRL NAME......
RandomBitch (7:38:45 PM): Do I know you??
RandomBitch (7:38:55 PM): Or are you one of OTHER GIRL NAME's friends?
StructureExpress (7:38:55 PM): no, do you have a friend named OTHER GIRL NAME?
StructureExpress (7:39:09 PM): no, OTHER GIRL NAME is not my friend. she is annoying me on AIM
RandomBitch (7:39:20 PM): Oh God...
RandomBitch (7:39:24 PM): She's so retarded!!!
StructureExpress (7:39:28 PM): I had to report this screen name to AOL. It's being investigated {Yeah, still not talking to anyone.}
RandomBitch (7:39:50 PM): Oh god!!! She's at my house! She was on this computer.
RandomBitch (7:40:04 PM): My dad's going to kill me!!
StructureExpress (7:40:08 PM): You should pay more attention to who you let use your screen names
RandomBitch (7:40:29 PM): Oh god, she's my friend, I trusted her.... I didn't think she'd do this!
RandomBitch (7:40:35 PM): Can you do anything?
StructureExpress (7:40:50 PM): I already reported it. I can't do anything now. {Still pretty sure this is the first girl.}
RandomBitch (7:41:18 PM): Can you send them some kind of explanation or anything? Anything can help!! What was she doing???
RandomBitch (7:41:32 PM): Oh my god, I am going to KILL HER!!!
RandomBitch (7:41:43 PM): Seriously, what did she do?
RandomBitch (7:42:14 PM): Please tell me!!!
StructureExpress (7:42:17 PM): just randomly messaged me. was entirely rude and impolite
RandomBitch (7:42:26 PM): Oh...
RandomBitch (7:42:43 PM): I'm really sorry she did that, but why didn't you just block this screen name?
RandomBitch (7:43:09 PM): Or did she say something really bad?
StructureExpress (7:43:48 PM): she said several things. I am not going to go into it. I would suggest you change your password and not let your 'friend' use your computer anymore.
StructureExpress (7:43:59 PM): (i would also hope AOL doesn't ban your account.)
StructureExpress (7:44:07 PM): have a good evening
RandomBitch (7:44:09 PM): Can they do anything else to me?
RandomBitch (7:44:38 PM): I really don't know anything about this, I'm just wondering if you can give me any information.
StructureExpress (7:45:02 PM): i am sure you will receive any information necessary from AOL when their investigation is complete
StructureExpress (7:45:08 PM): again, have a good evening
RandomBitch (7:45:18 PM): Where should I get the information?
RandomBitch (7:45:43 PM): I mean, like where will they send it? And I'm really sorry to be bothering you.
StructureExpress (7:46:27 PM): I would assume you would be e-mailed through the address you used to register this screen name or in your AOL mail directly
StructureExpress (7:46:32 PM): good night
RandomBitch (7:47:07 PM): Thank you for your time. I'm very sorry for all the trouble OTHER GIRL NAME's caused. Have a good night, that is if she hasn't completely ruined it.

So, there’s that…