Ricki-Liscious (Part I)

Here it is, as promised: The Ricki Lake extravaganza. After writing it up and having it lightly edited by a couple people it was decided that it should be split into sections. So, blogglers, I present Part I. (Along with the second song to be featured from tonedefsystems.)

In the fall of 2002, about six weeks after I moved in with Mollie, she told me that she had contacted the Ricki Lake show about an upcoming topic they were shooting. She had been accepted, so she and our friend James were going to be flown out to NYC to shoot “Gals Who Love Gays”. I thought that it was super-cool, and wasn’t so upset that she didn’t invite me. I mean, seriously, she had been friends with James for years. It was just exciting to know that someone I know…my roommate, no less…was going to be on a talk show. There was something so low class about it…I loved it.

The week before the show, (Friday night, I think) we were all hanging out at the local gay bar. There was a large group, maybe 30, of us that would always be hanging out together…in Lafayette for the week and Indianapolis for the weekend. The local bar was only 3 blocks from our apartment, so we tended to end up there a lot of nights. Mollie was drunk, and asked me if I would like to come along with them…to be on the show. It was short notice, but I knew I could juggle my schedule to make it work. I was SO excited. I could be white trash famous, too. The next day, Mollie called her producer and asked if it would be possible to fly me out, too. She producer thought it was a fantastic idea. (The more gays the better was her thinking.) So it was set. My TV debut was in the works. I got my schedule shuffled around ended up working my 40 hours in 3 days…Yes, I sure did work 13-14 hours a day so I could be on RL.

Mollie had some ulterior motives in her desire to be on the show. If she could somehow get them to let her sing on the show, it could really be a boon to her career. When the producer found out about Mollie’s talent and the fact that we had this huge group of friends that would drive to Indianapolis every weekend to go out, she made the decision to actually send a camera crew out to Indiana and make us a tape feature for the show. We spread the news and everyone was up for it.

So, it was set. Wednesday rolled around and I got home from work about 6:00. That gave me just enough time to shower and change clothes before the crew arrived at our apartment for filming. James had the great idea that we should have a couple cocktails before the camera showed up…to loosen us up, you know. Well, here in Indiana, a home-mixed cocktail is usually about 1/2 alcohol and 1/2 mixer..and usually comes in a 32 oz mug. And we had a couple of them. The camera crew and producer showed up and they were great…the producer, I think, even had a drink with us. When they started filming, they wanted some ‘interview moments’ with Mollie to intersperse between shots of us going out. James and I made our exit…but not before mixing a to-go cup of rum and coke.

We walked around downtown and ended up sitting on our stoop for about an hour before they let us back in the apt. This is where the fun really starts. They wanted to get a montage of us getting ready, forgetting that we were completely clothed and ready to walk out the door. They had us dance in the bathroom (to no music, because they couldn’t get the rights to anything quickly enough), take shots in the kitchen, and then help Mollie pick out what to wear. OK, by this point, all of us were completely buzzed and they wanted us to gay it up even more. Phrases like “Girl, you look fierce!”, “Love the shoes, lose the bag.”, and “Faaaaabulous” were thrown around like nobody’s business. Looking back…it’s embarrassing, and it only gets worse. We even had to pretend that we had already come home and were heading to bed after a big night out. Basically, this consisted of me in the hallway and Mollie in her bedroom saying goodnight to each other. The last shot they wanted was of us in the car, driving away…on our way to Indianapolis. (Completely forgetting they had just shot footage of us downing shots of vodka as if they were water.) We basically turned the corner and parked the car. It was more driving than any of us should have done.

After they had finished shooting, we grabbed our bags and headed to the van they had to drive us to Indy…but before we left we had to make more to-go cups for the ride. We made the hour-long drive to Indy and our first stop was the Slippery Noodle for Mollie’s open mic night. Usually the way it works is you show up and sign up with your name and what you do, then they call a random group to the stage…one or two guitars, one piano, one drum, and a vocalist most times. It can take HOURS unless you get there super early. Our producer had called ahead, though, and Mollie was the next to take the stage. What is most impressive, to me, about open mic nights that I have seen, is that the musicians don’t play a ‘song’, really…the vocalist kind of gives them an idea of the key they sing in and a beat to keep…and they just jam. It was pretty amazing.

After the blues bar we headed over to a gay bar called OP’s. They had closed the bar just for us considering the trouble that would be caused by trying to get everyone to sign releases or be blurred on tape. This is where it starts to get blurry. Between the producer buying us drinks and our friend Jeffrey buying us shots…everything is a little choppy. You have to remember this was a Wednesday night in Indy; the only people in the bar were the 25-30 of us that made the trip and the employees. After about an hour, the bartenders were joining in on the fun...and it started getting scandalous. I met one super cute bartender that I remember having some private time in the bathroom with. He had bought me a few drinks throughout the evening, and since we were the only people in the bar, there was a lot of empty space. He took me to a dance floor on the other side of the bar and started grinding on me and making out. There was a restroom nearby and when I excused myself to use it, he followed me in. I’ll spare you the details, but we both had a good time. Just as we were walking out, we saw there had been a camera crew following us the entire time…and they had, at least, audio of everything that had happened in the restroom. No one seemed to care…I certainly wasn’t the only one that got blown that night. People act a little crazy when you have a whole bar to yourselves.

So, we left the bar about 3:30 and we headed to IHOP for breakfast, and then to the airport. Keep in mind that, at this point, I have been awake for about 24 hours…and I am completely sloshed. When we got to the airport I headed straight for Starbucks. While I was gone, James had some sort of meltdown and said he wasn’t going. The producer tried her best to stop him, but he split. So, it was just me and Mollie at this point. Cue the drama.

And I will leave you with that for today...Part II to come tomorrow.

*****Click here for Part II