I'm BACK!!

Hey everyone...I didn't forget you and I sure did miss writing...but I was out of town over the weekend, and while the house I was staying in had plenty of internet access, I was in Chicago and had plenty of better things to do.

We got kind of a late start because we went out Friday night. None of us realized how crappy we would feel come Saturday. Our intention was to head into the city right when Lynn got out of the store at 5:00. In reality, she left work early because she was hung over and took a nap. We we supposed to be to Paul's house in Evanston by about 7:30 or so. That way we could maybe grab a bite to eat, shower, change, the whole bit and then head downtown. Well, we finally got motivated and in the car at 8:30...oops. We headed for the mall to pick up a couple shirts that Lynn needed to complete her perfect ensemble for the evening...and then we ran into GAP bitch.

I know it was 8:57...and I work retail, so I hate the people that come in at 5 minutes till closing. I try not to do it, but this was an emergency, and TECHNICALLY, they were still open. I try not to be THAT GUY, but sometimes you have to. We ran up as she was closing one side of the door and I blurted out, "3 seconds, 2 tanktops...please!" "Oh, sorry, we don't have registers left open." (OK...I am usually a pretty nice guy, but don't try to lie to me to get away with something. I have friends that work for GAP/Banana/Old Navy. First of all I know they don't empty their registers at night...and secondly, I KNOW they don't close before 9:00, EVER. To make things even worse there was a woman at the register bay making a purchase. I brought this to her attention and she said, "Oh, it's a return." Doesn't matter to me, bitch...the register is open. You should take a sale whenever you can get one, especially an easy one and ESPECIALLY if you just did a return. OK, I am over that.

So, we got on the road after stopping for ciggies and LOADS of caffiene. (Gotta buy cigs in Indiana...only $4/pack instead of 8.) I raced Lynn's poor little Saturn north at about 80-85 mph. After 2 1/2 hours in the car, 2 1/2 heart attacks from Lynn, and 2 1/2 times getting lost we were pulling up in front of Paul's building. Not bad for a 150 mile trip, and through the city, too. We got inside his (AMAZING) apartment, (Actually his parents' apartment, but they were out of town so we got to play pretend.) did the hello's and headed for bedrooms.

Anyway, WHAM BAM, we're dressed and headed out the door. We started out at Roscoe's. I was willing to do the straight bar thing, but Lynn's thinking was that they were already together for the night, why not try to hook me up with something. So, Roscoe's was fun, and I ran into my Super Jew, Jonas. Jonas, as usual, tried to lure me to Chicago with job offers. Last time I saw him he was working for CareerBuilder, and I had little interest. This time, he is working for Food & Wine magazine. Hmm, I could sit on my ass, go out to eat a few times a week and punch out a couple thousand words at my computer about it...I'll have to think about that. Well, we didn't get to Roscoe's till about 1:00, so soon enough they were herding us out the front door. What to do at 2:45 on a Saturday night? Charlie's of course.

I have written about Charlie's before. It is the used-to-be-country-bar-turned-techno-paradise with glitter boots instead of a disco ball. (And they're open till 5:00.) Paul was a little out of place on the dance floor...but he had Lynn to make out with, so all is good. They didn't fog the dance floor nearly enough to keep it cool, but we still had fun. Low point of the night was buying a beer and a water. The beer being $3.50 and the water being $3. Screw that noise...I shoulda just gotten 2 beers. As Paul pointed out, beer is only 5% alcohol, so it must be 95% water. Sounds like a WAY more fun way to get your 8 glasses a day! ;) ( Low, LOW point of the night was the creepy guy in the bathroom leaning over and looking at my junk while I am peeing. He says, "Hey big boy", and when I look at him disapprovingly, he just goes back to staring at my business.)

4:45 rolls around and the liquor has stopped flowing, so we headed for the Melrose for breakfast. Cheap, good food...and they don't care that you're drunk. Quirky wait staff and they serve butt steak. Another $20 cab ride and we were home...6:ish in the morning...sun is up...going to bed.