Day of Rest, My Ass...

Hold your horses Scotty...Here it comes.

So, after dinner on Sunday night we were in no condition to walk back to Paul's house. We jumped on the El at, literally, the cleanest stop I have ever seen. There were big signs to announce when a train would arrive...and as if that were not enough, a pleasing-voice woman came over the not-too-loud speaker to announce it's impending arrival. Then it all came crashing down. The train pulls up and it's still the same urine-smelling, homeless-sleeping, sticky-hands Red Line that I know and love.

Anyway, We got back to Paul's and slowly got ready to go out. Paul, by this point, knew me pretty well and came into my room with beer in hand. "Let's get going...have a beer," he said. Yummy. It was the first time I had anything from Goose Island Brewing in Chicago. It's called 312 (like the area code) and is super good.

We got out the door at about 12:00 (I think) and headed back down to Lakeview (Boystown). I can honestly say that I have seen or heard of just about everything happening on the El...urine, vomit, and various other bodily fluids that I would rather not discuss have been produced in front of me...but I had never had someone sit down just 2 seats away and spark up a joint. I didn't catch on right away and turned to Lynn to ask, "What smells like burning?" Oh, right...the pot that I now get to smell like all night long.

Oh well, no bother...we were going OUT! We hit th Addison stop and jumped off the train. (OK, not really...we just walked down the stairs.) We (I) decided to go to Sidetrack first. It's a video bar that has retro music on Sunday night. We got there and ordered our drinks, getting in the groove with the Bangles. A few minutes after we got there this guy walks up to me and asks if anyone was sitting on the stool next to me. When I said no, he brightened and said, "Well, I am now." Oh great, I'm thinking, some random guy is gonna sit next to me all night and I am gonna be all self-conscious about what I am saying all night long. Not to worry...about halfway through the next video he turns to me, laughing, and asking if that "was" Donna Summer. lol. Yes, it "was" years ago Donna Summer before she, and everyone else got all crazy. He turns to me, in all seriousness, and says, "You know what? I wanna get 7 kinds of rich so I can be crazy like that...It must be so much fun." (It's true...lol) Infatuation was born.

He asked if I was Lynn's hairdresser. I said no, but asked him why he thought that. "Your (collective) great hair"...Boy knows how to get to my heart, lol. "She kinda looks like a client that would say, 'Hey, Gay Hairdresser, take me out with my Straight Boyfriend to your Gay Club for a Gay Time.'" I explained that we sold shoes and had professionals that do our hair...he seemed slightly disappointed, like he was looking for a new stylist, lol. I had already slyly checked out his shoes, as I do to everyone I meet...they were cute...but this gave me a chance to get closer...I scooted over and looked down under the bar..."Cute shoes, who are they?" He didn't know. Not good. I explained to him that, at any time, one should be prepared with the brand, name, and size of the shoe you are wearing. He decided to put me to the test...Steve Madden, Crown, 12...earlier was Kenneth Cole, Thong Song, 13...Last night Steve Madden, Eclypse, 12 -- Don't mess with the master, lol.

By this time we were being playfully touchy under the bar...hands on knees...a little higher with each laugh...lovely. He was disappointed in me for not having ever seen Fame...I was disappointed in him for never having heard of Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam. Things only got better when he started talking about why guys never seem to want to date him: too short (5'8") ass too big (WHAT?) and add in the fact that he had fantastic hair, a pretty face, and had managed to keep me entertained for an hour when I planned on not interacting...it was love.

He said he liked to date taller guys, but they dismissed him because he was so short. I told him I was 6'2" but preferred dating shorter guys. He didn't believe that I was 6'2" so we did the whole, stand next to each other and check thing. When he realized I had a good 6 inches on him (I just realized how dirty that sounds) When he realized I was 6 inches taller than him he wrapped his arm around my waist and hugged me...this was progressing quite nicely.

When we sat back down I turned to him and asked, "So, what's your name?" "Matthew." "OMG, Me, too" (With a sideways glance at Lynn to pre-emptively shut up...I HATE being called Matthew...it makes me feel like I am in 3rd grade and forgot my homework...but it was cuter this way, so I let it fly.) I found out he just moved to Chicago from PA and I don't remember what he does because just as I asked they announced last call...damn Sundays. Why does the bar have to close at 2:00...those people weren't working Monday, anyway.

Anyway, we exchanged e-mails and he said I had to call him next time I was going to be in town. We were going to Hydrate to finish out the night, but he said he had to get home...sad. He leaned in and whispered that he had a nice time and then moved in for the kiss...the lovely kiss. He tasted like vodka and chewing gum...yum. (He drinks vodka gimlets.) He left just enough before us that I got to see him walking across the street...it WAS a nice ass.

**********

On to Hydrate...It's open till 4:00. Hey, look, it's 2-4-1 drinks night...YAY. long story short--we drank a lot...a drag queen fell down a lot...Paul got hit on twice...Lynn got hit on twice...I got hit on by a bike messenger on his way to a delivery (he stopped in for a couple shots on his way)...we heard Pussycat Dolls "Don't Cha" for the 3rd night in a row...4:00 a.m.

We grabbed a cab and headed back to Evanston...discussing our night and the fact that we MIGHT not be done drinking. When we got back to Paul's he broke out the Stoli and 7UP...and we stood around the island in the kitchen for the next hour or so drinking and laughing...just enjoying each other's company. It was fun. It's official, now, that Paul is my favorite straight boy. Anyone that can date Lynn, get along with me, and spend 2 nights in 4 gay bars with us...kudos to him. We didn't even have the awkward wierdness when Lynn was getting a drink or in the bathroom...we actually had things to talk about. Love him.

We got up the next day and headed out for lunch at some burger place that I forget the name of. Too soon it was time for us to take off to get home before 10:00...Lynn and I both had to work early Tuesday morning. We hit the road and it was pretty uneventful until it started raining. At this point I am hurtling down I-65 at 85-90mph and it starts pouring. Only problem is that Lynn's windshield wiper starts creeping up the windshield...never quite returning to as low as it was on the last pass. Fine for about 5 minutes until the wiper starts swinging off the side of the car and wiping about 12% of my viewing area. I am torn between laughing and worrying that I have broken Lynn's car. I sneak a peek at Lynn and she is trying not to laugh, so I let it go. Then, GET THIS...she goes, "You know, I don't know why they only fuck up when it rains." Gee, Lynn...I wonder why your windshield wipers only fuck up WHEN IT RAINS...definitely falls into the "It's always in the last place you look" category. We got a good 5 minutes of laughing on that one. She turned to me and said. "You're going to blog about this, huh?" "Oh, you bet your ass I am!" So there you go.


On a side note, why did no one tell me that Jesse Metcalfe is in this 3 Doors Down video? You all just lost cool points...for a minute. Oh, and I am re-in-love-with Jason Mraz.

-- Anyone who has noticed the times of my posts lately will realize that my sleep schedule is still fucked up...and I have been rambling. I am not ignoring anyone...especially not the one that thinks I am. (You should be online more often.)

G'night kids.