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Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Under the Radar

With all my goings-on over the weekend, I completely forgot to tell you guys about the (re)launch of Radar Magazine. In their own words, it is a mag about pop, politics, gossip, and glamour. I describe as a magazine that real people can keep up with. I mean, I read Vitals...but I can't buy anything they feature, I can only try to care about the things they talk about sometimes, and I am never going to be as cool as they want me to be. Radar is different. It is about things that people I know are ACTUALLY talking about...it's not about creating hype for something...just telling you they rest of the story about things you heard in passing. I'll give you a few choice bits from this issue:

The Radar Guide to the Beach

DO pee in the ocean.
DON'T yell, "I'm peeing," no matter how great it feels.
Note: If you are going to be peeing in the ocean, be all the way in the ocean.

DO smoke at the beach.
Looks cool. Is cool.

If you drown, DO go down quietly. Have some class. People are trying to read.

DO be hot.
DON'T be not hot.

Words to live by, my friends...

Their cover is a picture of Paris Hilton receiving some sort of medal from GWB...Cover story: NO TALENT? NO PROBLEM! HOW TO BE FAMOUS FOR DOING NOTHING AT ALL. (Now, THAT I can do.)

How about a list of books that people are ACTUALLY reading? And with the buzz about it...and a comparable book that you might have already finished. So, for those of you that enjoyed The Devil Wears Prada...you might want to check out The Washingtonienne. (By the way, I think I heard a rumor that Meryl Streep has been cast in the movie version of DWP.)

How to speak Hollywood
  • Adoption (n) the preferred form of reproduction for members of a publicly heterosexual relationship when one or both of the parties is actually homosexual.
  • Denial (n) a postponement of the inevitable, as in, "Everything you've said is true, and we'll admit to it in a press release on Friday afternoon, after the Page Six staff leave the office for the Hamptons." See also "No Comment"
  • Friends (n, pl) sexual partners, as in, "A rep for the actress stated that she and Timberlake we just friends." See also"never met," as in, The actress's spokesperson laughed, claiming her client and Crowe had never met." This can indicate that a brief, mutually unsatisfying sexual experience took place.
  • Trainer (n) the gay lover of a closeted star spotted in public, as in, "The action star was accompanied to Jamba Juice by his trainer." See also "travelling companion," "producing partner."
Get it at your local news-stand. You'll like it.


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