I am Never Going to Work Again

Wanna know why? I'll tell ya why. Cause when I go to work, we miss things like THIS!!

So, Jessica Simpson got Bammed...I SO want this to be true. I been needing a really good scandal since Oprah let me down.

I know Tiffany will disagree with me on this...but I think Bam is kinda hot. (Tiffany thinks he was on WildBoyz, though...so she might be thinking of Chris Pontius or Steve-O who are not hot.)

Wanna see a pic of Bam's wang? Click here. What? You don't wanna see it? I bet you clicked anyway. I know you...dirty, dirty people.

That reminds me...When I was at the Dr on Tuesday I had to get X-rays taken of my back. Well, I hadn't thought ahead of time about this situation, but I WAS wearing underwear for once. (They're cute...firetrucks.) Well, I had Mr. Hottie X-ray tech...and he complimented me on them. I blushed. I then realized that, while the X-rays were of my back, my "area" was being included. I have to admit...I plumped things up a little as to give them a better presentation. He gave me a sly little smile and walked me back to the other office. It got awkward when I then realized that my not-Mr.-Hottie doctor was now gonna see all my business.

He put the films up on the little light box and I really don't know what he said, because all I could think was...'That's my penis...my see-through penis.' It's not often (or ever, that I know of) that one gets that vantage point of one's own penis--straight on...and see-through. (It was quite an ego boost when he showed me the zoomed-in shot...I was a porn star...One of the big ones, too.)