Situational Principles

I really should be in bed, but I wanted to write about what happened at work today. As most of you know, I sell shoes. Being as that is the case, most of my co-workers and I are what you would call 'shoe-whores'. As long as it's pretty, we will buy it. But, then there is Sarah...our veggie friend. She works with us in the shoe department - but there's one problem. She doesn't eat meat...OR wear leather. I always thought it would be hard to sell shoes with those beliefs, seeing as how about 80% of our shoes are leather. She has managed, thus far to get by with nice man-made alternatives. That was until today...


Yesterday we had a woman who brought back a shoe that we sold last year. Nine West 'Doug' (pictured at left) was one of the highlights of last fall's season. Great heel, fantastic toe, low-cut on both sides...it's just the best. Lynn and Brittnie own this shoe already. Anyway...Sarah wears a 5 1/2 (if that) and has a really hard time finding shoes to wear that A) come in her size and B) are remotely cute. I got her to try it on and Voila! it fit perfectly. She went ahead and put it on hold to see if her sister wanted it.

Well, today, she tried it on again...and get this: Since the woman bought it a year ago, the shoe is obsolete in our system. Obsolete shoes sell for $9.98. 'Doug' was originally $69. This is when I started talking to Sarah about 'Situational Principles'. Basically, I understand that she is a vegetarian and doesn't eat meat. I also understand that she doesn't like using leather. BUT...when the cow already died...and another woman already bought the shoe...AND kept it for a year - all the bad juju is out of the shoe. ALSO...most people DO eat meat and wear leather. When a man buys a steak, he does not think about what products might be made out of the rest of that cow. Most people probably eat the equivalent of one cow a year, I would think, but no one owns the amount of leather that one cow would produce. (well, most people don't. Have you ever been in Chicago for IML? lol) My point was that if someone eats beef and doesn't use all the leather from that cow, it is up for grabs and not 'going-to-hell' worthy. I think what finally pushed her over the edge to buying it was when I broke out the calculator and figured that (after our associate discount) her purchase price was only 10.8% of the original price the woman had paid for the shoe - THEREFORE...she only had to carry the burden of 10.8% of the guilt for wearing leather. Needless to say, she had a great laugh at my lecture on 'Situational Principles' and bought the shoes. (She proceeded to go on all day about how comfortable they were and how well they fit.) My next speech was on 'Fluid Morals'...but that will have to wait for another evening, seeing as how I have to be up for work at 6:30 in the a.m.

Night, kids.