Testosterone is Coursing Through My Veins

I have a dark family secret...Stedman and I have a -- oh wait, that was Oprah.

I have a secret shame: Since I moved at the beginning of February I have been using MSN dial-up. This Thursday, though, I have the nice man from Insight Broadband coming to my house and giving me the hookup. I didn't think about it when I called to order service, but I was on DSL at my last place with Ami. Because our computers were networked, I have only a wireless reciever and Ami has the modem. Not that it would help because it's a different modem I need, evidently. Well, the modem was a deal through Insight...only $35...awesome. So, I thought I was set. Yeah, not so much. I don't have a network card. :( dammit

Well, at Satan's House the other night I picked one up for (get this) $15! So, yesterday I worked up the nerve to install it. This might not sound like an accomplishment to many, but this is coming from me that never opened my computer till 2 years ago...yeah, I ran it as it came. I am deathly afraid of opening my computer, because I am almost positive that I will break it. While I was on the phone with Ami (for moral support*) I opened my little machine and was excited that I found what I needed almost immediately. While I was trying to install it, though, I almost lost my nerve. I was having to push awfully hard. I don't like the thought of having to push hard on anything inside my computer. All's well that ends well, though...because it automatically installed when I restarted my machine (that really needs a name).

As if that weren't enough...Today I was on the three-season porch smoking a cigarette and realized that it's really more of a one-month-in-the-spring-and-one-month-in-the-fall-porch because it gets so hot out there. I have, though, a window air-conditioner that was just sitting around. I busted over to the hardware store and bought wood, brackets, screws, nails...the whole bit. I came home and proceeded to INSTALL AN AIR CONDITIONER!!! OK, you might not be as excited about this as I am, but it was a big accomplishment. I had to built a cleet to mount the brackets on the outside of the house, nail, drill, screw. It came out perfect. WAY better than I had any right to expect. I honestly thought it would fall out of the window...and I was OK with that. But, it actually worked and now my three-season porch actually is...a three-season porch. (I might install a heater for winter, who knows...)

(I also re-caulked the bathtub, but that is not as exciting as the AC.)

This is all in addition to the second hand manliness I got from Ami, who replaced her headlights today...by herself.

We spent over an hour on the phone tonight and she got the great idea that I should take my phone and place it ear-piece to mouth-piece (69) with the phone in the kitchen to see if she could hear herself. I don't know why neither of us predicted the brain-splitting feedback that would result. It was not a well thought-out plan.


*Ami was of little to no help because all she could tell me was to 'push harder' while she was researching what headlamps to buy. Ami's response to anything that is broken is 'push harder'. She once fixed our DVD player with a hammer...

A little joke for you: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
(Look in comments for the answer.)