White DE version 2

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Don't Look, I'm Naked...

In an effort to make myself ever more accessible (and because I am an attention whore) I have added e-mail and AIM links. If you look to your left, you will see them in all their HTML-ey glory. I actually did this to prove (to myself) that I am super-duper, double-plus, kick-rad, awesome...which, I totally am. So, the next time you find yourself thinking, "You know, I wish I could talk to Matt right now. He would know what to do." YOU CAN! I know you're excited, but contain yourself...or use the restroom, if you must.

So, I hurt my shoulder today at work. I work in a shoe department where our stockroom has LOTS and LOTS of aisles with REALLY tall shelves. Well, to reach those tall shelves, we use ladders. They are kinda like old library ladders, but they are not parallel with the shelving...they go across the aisle and travel on rails that are mounted about 8 feet off the floor. (The shelves are about 12-15 feet high) So, I was getting a shoe for a customer and lost my balance on the ladder. (I tend to do that because I have no inner ear. OK, that's a lie...I just have bad balance on ladders.)

Well, as I fell, I reached up and grabbed the rail. This left me dangling about 2 inches of the ground and holding on with the arm that had it's rotator cuff torn 2 years ago when I fell off a roof. (I'll tell you that story later.) It wasn't so much the hanging as the jerking when I fell that basically turned my shoulder into a big rock of hurt. I got some Excedrin from one of the other associates and then called a manager to fill out an accident report. I then made the fatal flaw of asking if there was someone that could take my shift tomorrow instead of just saying I wouldn't be in. Her answer, of course, was no.

So, after work tonight I went to Satan's House...erm, I mean Wal*Mart. I needed to get a shoulder sling considering I think I left mine at a sex party in Chicago a couple years ago. (Actually, I think I just lost it, but the word sling makes me think of SteamWorks where you can rent a room for $35 and add a sling for an extra $7. Or you can just rent a locker.

(That is for 6 hours, not all night, by the way.)

Anyway, back to my story. I found the slings, (tee-hee) and along the way picked up an ethernet card and a 12-pack of beer. Total: less than $40...I was happy.

Just for information, I am on beer #5 of the previously mentioned 12 pack. I would like to say that I am not going to drink anymore because I have to work at 10:45 am, but I am on a roll, and my shoulder hurts less when I am drunk.

By the way...While you are at SteamWorks you can also visit the gym or the whirlpool. (Um, no offense, but I know what happens there, and I am NOT gonna go in that whirlpool.)

I thought twice about posting those pictures, but I figure we're all man-lovers here. We just love different types of men.

On another note -- I got my first free* issue of Vitals MAN today and realized that Heath Ledger, while not movie-star hot,** is inherently fuckable.

*In case you didn't catch it: if you click on 'free' right up there, you can get a free subscription, too.
**All opinions contained herein are those of the half-drunk author and are not intended to offend anyone that may be in love with Heath Ledger. The author will still go see Brokeback Mountain when it is released, but mostly because of Jake Gyllenhaal.

And - Can I get a definitive answer from anyone as to whether his last name is pronounced with a G-like-good, or a G-like-gentle? I was pretty sure it was like Jyllenhaal...but I heard it the other way from someone.

I need to apologize...It has taken over an hour to make this post (it is actually 2:48 am) because I get link happy when I am drunk, evidently...enjoy!


Blogger flannel04 said...

Ok, Matt, this is what you should do in the event of this happening again. Go to the doctor! If you hurt it beyond a strain or bruising, the doctor will put you on light duty (probably give you a lifting limit and tell you not to reach above your shoulders or something). And if, God forbid, the shoulder gets worse and you need surgery or some other advanced medical treatment, workers' comp. will take care of it. This kind of stuff is my speciality, you know :)

10:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always pronounced it was the gentle g but yes, I think I was wrong because I heard them talk about Maggie and pronounced it with the good g. It's like Sarah Michelle Gellar... who cares.. haha. ~Ann

9:23 PM  

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