A Letter

Dear Mr. R. Kelly.

You's a crazy bitch. I am writing in reference to my recent viewing of your video 'Trapped in the Closet'. You need to learn some basic rhyming skills again. I notice that certain lines of you song are pretty stretched to rhyme - like 'window' and '5th floor' - those don't rhyme. I would go into more detail but I must get to work. I, unfortunately, do not get to publish my non-rhyming-only-makes-sense-to-me songs that I make up in the shower, unlike you.

Oh, I do have one more question. I noticed in the video tag at the end it says 'Trapped in the Closet, Chapter 1 of 5'. Please assure me that we are not to be subjected to another 4 songs such as this. Your fiction is amusing, but highly unbelievable. I mean, the woman in this video looks to be at least 25-30 years old and from what I can gather that is approximately 10-15 years older than your preference. I, therefore, have a hard time believing you would be trapped in her closet...under her little sister's bed, mayber...but not hers.

Thank You,
Matty McMattMatt